Heroes The Road Trip
by CoLdBlAdE
Summary: Seven of our favourite characters decide it would be a good idea to go on a road trip, but before they realise they are attempting the impossible - might they discover some important things along the way?
1. Ready! Set! Go Crazy!

Hey. This is just a trial chapter really just to see if people like it. So if you want anymore chapters I'll need a few reviews. Anyway let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes...yet.**

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The sound of screeching tyres made its way to the waiting Peter, Claire, Sylar, Niki, and Mohinder's ears as a musty old van skidded to a halt, kicking up a cluster of dirt to soil the waiting five. Their wide eyes grew to unimaginable widths when the passengers door flew open to reveal the marching blonde known simply as Elle bishop.

"Right! listen up Hebrews and Shebrews! We need to get all the bags in the back quickly and efficiently! I warn you now however that despite Hiro's vast bank account we are still stuck with this rusted molding abomination" Elle finished, tilting her head in the direction of the back of the van, insinuating that they should put their bags in the back. They did so, still in shock.

"Hey!" Hiro yelled, getting out of the drivers side and slamming the door behind him. "A true hero does not require materialistic things!"

"Then why does Peter carry around that gold plated statue of himself?" Elle asked, hands on hips.

Peter walked past holding the said statue, looking mournfully at Hiro. He could only hang his head in shame as Hiro shook his head at him, disappointed.

"Oh Peter."

Peter protectively wrapped his arms round his statue. "I have needs too" He stated boldly before walking away to the back of the van, holding his chin high.

"Right," Elle said as she rolled her eyes at the two. "And I've actually decided who I'm going to get Jiggy with on this trip" Elle spoke up.

"My moneys on Mohinder" Claire announced.

"Good call sweet cheeks!" Mohinder replied, pretending to shoot of an imaginary gun like a wild cowboy.

Elle walked into Mohinder's personal space and puffed the green gym whistle right in his face.

Mohinder blinked in surprise. "What the hell was that for?" He asked, still taken aback. Elle looked down at her pink clipboard and then back up at the scientist.

"On this trip you can swear, abuse random people, get drunk, have fun, dance naked on poker tables, steal cars, hell you can even do the freaky with Sylar. But you will NOT act like that again. Is that understood?"

"What have you been smoking?" Sylar asked worried, having left his bags at the back.

"You know help with the bags would really be hot guys?"

The three spun around to see the remaining the remaining four trying to get all the bags into the rear of the van. Peter and Hiro were attempting to pack the bags into the boot like a game of tetras.

Big grey suitcase to the left...

Small pink suitcase to the right...

Niki and Claire stood talking behind them, just waiting for the inevitable. Peter finally sighed. "Fine. Elle, Niki and Claire would you give us a hand"

Peter and Hiro finally managed to get all the bags in the boot of the moldy van, with help from the girls. Hiro ran around and entered the unfortunate van before sticking his head out the window.

"Kay gang! Let's roll?" He yelled, giving his 'gang' a friendly wave.

"Gang?" Sylar questioned Claire who smiled at him. Everyone muscled into the musty van, shifting and complaining as they all squeezed in together. Peter and Sylar sat at the back, their knees up to their chest. Claire, Niki and Mohinder were squeezed into the middle in that order. Niki looked excited about the trip, so the indestructable girl decided to query it.

"Hey Niki, who's looking after Micah?" Claire asked, snuggling in.

"Oh he's staying with a girlfriend of mine"

"Are you sure she will be alright?" Claire asked concerned.

"Of course! She can handle it" Niki replied confidently.

"It's just you remember what happened when you left him with Peter and Sylar"

*****BEGIN FLASHBACK*****

"OK NO-ONE MOVES!!"

Peter and Sylar burst into a 7/11 charged up like a supernova. Both of their left eyes were twitching at the sight of the inside of the store. They sprinted over to the front of the store, Peter pushing through some annoying O.A.P's in the process.

Sylar slammed his hands down on the counter. "Where is your frozen section?" He snapped in a sickly sweet voice to the pimpley guy serving them, not that he really had a choice serving them.

"...Um...O...Over...."

"Where is it Junior? I don't have all day"

He nodded to the left of the store. "There"

"Where?"

"There!"

"Where!?"

"There!!"

Sylar whipped his head around in circles "Where!?!"

"Th..."

Peter suddenly lifted the teen up by his shirt. "DO YOU HAVE MILK!!"

"Oh God don't kill me!!"

"Answer..."

"It's in the back corner! BACK CORNER!!"

Knowing the kid had just wet himself but not really in the caring mood, Peter dropped him on his ass before running behind Sylar to the back of the store.

Sylar, noticing the stares they were recieving, dived head first into the frozen section. As he brushed aside chocolate milk and squished the bottles, Peter's body was twitching like mad. "Sylar hurry up!"

"I AM!"

"Hurry faster!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Im not yelling!"

"YES you ARE!!"

"No YOUR yelling AT ME!!"

"I'll show you who's....GOT IT!! Pull me out! Quick!"

Placing hands on each side of his hips and not caring how it looked, Peter easily pulled the frozen Sylar out of the frozen section. In his hands was a bottle of milk fit for a king. "Go! Go! Go!" Sylar ordered.

Carrying Sylar over his shoulder Peter sprinted over to the counter once more rugby style, knocking down innocent bystanders who dared not to move out of his path.

They reached the counter where Peter dropped his passenger. Sylar spun around and dropped the milk on the counter. "How much chuckles?"

The young man looked ready to faint. "There's no...uh...there's no...bar code on it". He gulped.

"Excuse me?" Sylar asked cooly.

"Um...I need to scan..."

"Pete, I'm gonna kill him."

Peter turned around, shoving Sylar out of the way to face the boy himself. "HERE!!!" He slammed a note onto the desk and turned with Sylar to find Angela staring at them.

"Aren't you two supposed to be looking after Micah?"

"Yes! We've gotta go!" Sylar added as both he and Peter tried to push past her.

"But if both of you are here, who's watching him?"

Sylar and Peter snapped their heads to look at each other. "Shit!" Peter yelled as both he and Sylar simultaneously bowled poor Angela over and raced out the door, screaming about car keys.

Back in the store the young man looked at the note. "Sirs wait! The milk's on sale...you gave me a 100 dollar bill..."

*****END FLASHBACK*****

Mohinder whistled in awe having overheard the story, glancing behind him at the culprits. "What happened? Was Micah Ok?"

"Micah was fine, but when I got back I found these two sweating buckets attempting to fry a tomato. It wasn't pretty" Niki answered. Claire shook her head.

Elle turned around in her car seat to stare at her posse. "Right we'll be setting off in a few seconds. First we're going to....what is it Peter?"

"Yeah can I ask why me and Sylar are sitting at the back, the tallest I might add, where there is the littlest room?"

"Yes Peter you may add that you and Sylar are the tallest in the group...." She looked around at the rest of the group. "Any other questions?" Claire opened her mouth but Elle cut her off. "No? Good"

Peter and Sylar looked at each other incredulously before Sergeant Bishop continued. "Right do we have everything? Niki forgotten anything with Micah? No goodbye? No last minute requests?..."

"No brain" Sylar piped up.

Niki thought for a second, tongue in cheek. "No, nothing I can think off" She answered sending a blazing glare at Sylar.

"Suresh?"

Suresh shook a novel at her. "All set"

"Great!" Elle finished, slapping on her seat belt. "Start her up Hiro!"

"Hey! Tallest at the back still!" Sylar called from the back.

Hiro glanced worriedly at the two men squashed in the back, but after being given 'the look' from Elle shrugged helplessly at them and prepared to start their trip.

"Leeeeeeeeeeeeet's get ready to rumblllllllllllleeeeeeeeeee!!" Hiro yelled, turning the egnition keys.

**(15 minutes later)**

Hiro still tried to turn the key. "I think she's pooped"

"Nice" Suresh spoke whilst reading.

"Alright! I'll just phone up the mechanic and THEN we'll be on our way!" Elle stated, jumping out of the car.

Claire turned round to face Sylar. "Hey slick...you got us a piece of - UMPH"

"And this is the bit where you stop talking like redneck and just turn back around" Peter said as he covered Claire's mouth.

Sylar smirked, Peter shook his head. Claire rolled her eyes at both of them but turned round all the same.

**(30 minutes later)**

Finally the crew were pulling out the driveway of their meeting place in their musty crap box.

"On the road again....Just can't wait to get on the road again..."

"Shut the hell up Petrelli!"

"Easy now Sylar" Suresh soothed, pretending to fire a pistol at him like a cowboy.

"Dammit Mohinder! What did I say about acting like that!?"

Well, what did you think? Please review and let me know what you think.

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So what did ya think? Please review.


	2. Location, Location, Location

**Ok so here's the next chapter. Hope you guys like it and thanks for all your kind reviews. **

**Anyway here we go, what will the heroes first come across on their rather insane and let's be honest, childish road trip?**

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Chapter 2 - Location, Location Location

You could cut the tension with a knife. No-one breathed. No-one moved. For they all knew that if they did...

Dire consequences would follow...

Hiro had eaten a Mexican feast all by himself at their last lunch break...

And they were all going to die.

Six pairs of frightened eyes watched their driver carefully. The poor man looked really uncomfortable. Red face turning redder by the minute. Left hand trying to ease away the pain by rubbing his gut. Eyes blinking way to fast because of the sweat pouring down from his forehead.

Hiro could feel it. It was bubbling in his gut like a fire cracker waiting to go off. He had done it, Elle had told him not to, but he still done it. That tempting plate of assorted tacos, it was simply too much for poor Hiro to resist.

Hiro had a bad case of taco induced gas.

And they were all going to die.

"Guys...I got to let one rip"

One statement. So much reaction.

They all moved as one. "STOP THE VAN!!"

Unclipped belts, opened the doors and jumped out into the clean outside air.

Unfortunately, not all the occupants of the van were so successful with their seatbelts. Mohinder scrambled for the release clip and pressed down with all his might. Nothing budged. Mohinder's eyes widened to the size of tennis balls. He glanced around feverishly, limbs were flying everywhere, people were looking out for themselves. No-one noticed Mohinder was in trouble.

Hiro rested his head on the steering wheel. He puffed out his cheeks like a chipmunk, trying to keep the monster within calm. A sudden gurgling noise alerted him. Time was running out.

"Guys! Hurry up! I can't hold on!"

Mohinder pulled at the black strap that was once in place for his safety, but now threatened his very life. "No! Someone help me!"

Peter was about to leave the vehicle but stopped at Mohinder's words. He turned back towards his desperate friend. "Suresh...Hang on!"

"IT'S COMING!!!" Hiro hollered to the heavens.

Mohinder's eyes locked with Peter's. Peter bit his lip, glancing at Hiro, tapping his fingers on the roof of the van, thinking.

"On second thought...."

"Don't you dare" Mohinder warned. "Don't you even go there! Don't leave me!"

Peter shrugged. "Sorry"

"NO! YOU TRAITOR!"

With that the vans door closed. Encasing Mohinder to his fate....

Outside they all waited for the inevitable. A trumpeting noise snapped them to attention.

"Oh God, that poor animal...." Niki whispered, horrified.

Sylar rolled his eyes. "That's no animal dieing...Hiro farted"

Claire winced. "You know, I wouldn't say that just yet..."

"Whoa! It just keeps going, that's kind of amazing!" Peter said in awe.

Niki wrinkled her nose. "That's kind of gross"

Sylar smiled. "That's the human body Niki"

Elle closed her eyes and groaned. "It's going to take forever to air that out"

Sylar cracked a smirk at the pure horror in Elle's voice.

A piercing silence stopped any further comments. No-one moved a muscle. A tumble of weed rolled behind the group who watched the van with horrified interest.

Suddenly Mohinder shrilled as the smell hit his senses. They all winced at the sound.

Claire nodded, never taking her eyes off the van unlike Sylar who struggled to watch. "There's your dead animal Niki"

**(4 Hours into the Road Trip)**

Windows were wide open as the musty coloured van cruised across the road. Hiro, after releasing the wonder from down under, slept contently in the passenger seat while Elle took his place driving.

Mohinder however was not content. After throwing up on the side of the road once the group had released him, he no longer was the happy camper he started off as at the start of the trip. He would sometimes throw a dangerous look at Peter, who simply smiled sheepishly back.

Sylar watched the two stare at each other for the seventh time and silently laughed. The Eagle scout was in the shit now, and he knew it.

"Hey Elle, where are we going anyway?" Claire spoke up, looking around at everyone. "Am I the only one that came because Peter told me to?"

Everyone looked thoughtful for a moment, before all answering Claire's reasonable question.

"I thought we were going to...."

"Indiana"

"Michigan"

"Utah"

"New York"

"California"

"....Australia"

Everyones head whipped over to Niki. Claire blinked, not quite believing what she heard. "Um...did you just..." She glanced over at Peter who was shaking his head, sadly amused.

"Jessica was never great at geography either"

Claire nodded. "Right. Of course"

Elle watched the car's occupants in the rear view mirror. "We're going wherever the road takes us my friends! WHOOOOOOOOOO"

Sylar's eyes narrowed. "You don't know where we're going do you?"

Elle smiled. "Not a clue"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

**(AT MCDONALDS)**

The gang sat down at three spread out tables. Claire was trying to convince Peter to let her call a cab home, or at least to let her walk.

"This is kidnapping Peter! Kidnapping!!"

Niki was arguing quietly about the state of the bathroom with Elle and Hiro.

"I don't think the sink was supposed to be that low"

Elle nodded "Yeah..."

"Did you two go into the ladies or the men's?"

(Pause)

"Oh God!"

"I thought the sinks were painted yellow!"

Sylar and Mohinder were still waiting to be served in the cue. Mohinder pulled out his wallet, still throwing dirty looks at Peter.

Sylar smirked. "You know, if you look at him long enough, he may just suddenly go up in flames" He snapped his fingers. "Just like that"

"He broke the bro code" Mohinder explained. "That's why I'm a little peeved. He left me to die!"

Sylar quickly became uncomfortable "Ok....Let's not go overboard now..."

Mohinder looked up at him, like he'd never seen him before. He pointed at him. "You. You can help me" He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the line.

"Hey! I was gonna get served!"

"That doesn't matter now. Gabriel Grey...you have just been chosen"

Sylar sighed. Why was it always him? "Chosen for what?"

"I'm going to get Peter back. Have you ever heard the word: Prank?"

Sylar cocked an eyebrow, a smirk creeping onto his face. "You've got my attention Dr Suresh, please continue"

Yes the Eagle Scout was in the shit now....and he had no idea what was coming. But they needed one more thing. One thing the Petrelli boy would never expect, the one thing he trusted without question. They needed Claire.

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So what did ya think? I would love to hear your feedback. In the next chapter:

Niki has some problems with food. An unlikely yet temporary team forms in the shape of Mohinder, Sylar and Claire in the name of justice. Elle remembers she has an evil side. Hiro has a relapse and Peter finally looses his good nature. Yes my friends, it truly will be as lame as it sounds.


	3. The Sweet Smell Of Revenge

**Hey, the first half of this chapter I posted yesterday but decided it was far too short. SO I've added more and have replaced it. Hope you enjoy it. **

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(5 and a half hours into the Road Trip)

The sun had began to set behind the horizon. Stars that had been invisible in the sky began to twinkle with mischief in the darkening sky.

As did the eyes of one Gabriel Grey, otherwise known as Sylar.

After finishing lunch everyone had scrambled to the van, but this time Elle was sitting next to Peter and Sylar was sitting next to Mohinder in the middle with Claire, Niki lying down in between them. Peter looked over at Mohinder and Claire who had their hands together, whispering quietly. His frown made his face scrunch up in disgust. Why would Elle come sit at the back and not Claire? He wasn't the one who had taco induced gas now was he? No he wasn't!

Elle turned away from the passing scenery of grass, grass and oh! More grass. She sighed as she watched Peter stare at Claire and Mohinder, who were now whispering excitedly.

"You my dear, are far too paranoid" under her breath, knowing her neighbour would have heard it.

Peter's lips pouted slightly, his eyes now on her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh. Sure"

"Elle, I'm just worried their up to something. I don't like the look in their eyes, especially Sylar's. He's got that twinkle, you know, the dangerous one"

Elle laughed. "Uh-huh. Sylar, swap with me. I need to talk with Suresh and Claire"

Sylar reluctantly nodded and slumped down next to Peter once more. Peter became all shifty eyed, which did not escape the perceptive mans notice.

"Something wrong with your eyes Peter?"

"What were you and Claire whispering about?" Peter asked kinda shrewdly.

Sylar smiled. "Oh now, don't tell me the eagle scout has come down with a cold case of over-protectoritus? It's a shame, paramedics make the worst patients"

"Answer the question Sylar"

"Maybe I should talk to Claire about this little sickness you have. In fact I think I'll tell her right now"

"Hey wanna take a test?" Niki unknowingly interrupted. Peter jumped at the chance at a change of subject.

"Sure Niki. We're both in"

Sylar did a double take. "Wa-hay there! We are not both 'in'. I was never 'in'. I am NOT 'in'"

"Ok so Sylar your first...."

Sylar rolled his eyes and glared at his neighbour. "Do you have any idea how muh I want to slice your head open right now?" He whispered at him.

"You love me. You have to. I'm Peter Petrelli" Peter whispered back, smiling.

Niki slapped the back of her leather seat to gain their attention. "Hey! Are you gonna listen or not?"

Sylar folded his arms. "Can I say not?"

"Ok. Which captain planet character are you?" Niki read of the magazines quiz title.

Peter moved forward some what to read the front cover of the magazine. "Kids Club Mag?" He leaned back into his seat. "Niki are you serious?"

Niki, who had just finished writing in Sylar's answers, nodded her head but not at Peter's question. "Sylar, you got the actual captain planet! Good for you!"

Sylar's eyes closed in dismay. "First I get dragged along with this suck fest. Then she keeps talking to me. Then Nakamura lets go of god knows what. Then Suresh almost throws up on me, then she talks to me even when she's supposed to be asleep

And now...HA...I'm a dude with a green mullet"

Peter placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look on the bright side"

Sylar frowned. "What bright side?"

"You could have been the pig guy"

"Here are everyone's room keys. One for the boys and one for the girls. We don't want anyone doing the horizontal tango on the first night" Elle stated, handing out keys.

Mohinder winked at Claire, who shivered. "Shiver all you want, it's gonna happen Baby"

"Anyway" Elle continued. "Everyone get some sleep because we're going to be shipping off tomorrow at 10 sharp ok? Ok. Night Guys"

The girls moved towards the lift while the guys stayed were they were, looking at the room they were given. Hiro gave a hollow laugh.

"You have got to be kidding" He turned to the others. "Please tell me Elle is kidding."

Peter, Sylar and Mohinder shook their heads in dismay. One of them put their hand on Hiro's shoulder while Peter lead the group downstairs towards their room.

The basement suit called for them.

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Shoving the door open the four men stumbled inside. The room was filled with the motels rusty pipes with wispy cobwebs hanging amongst them. The room was almost pitch black, the only light coming from the open door. Two double beds were the only pieces of furniture that greeted them. Peter, Sylar, Mohinder and Hiro watched the hanging globe sway from side to side in the middle of the room. Four bags hit the cement ground, kicking up a thick cloud of dust. They all spoke as one.

"Shit"

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The three ladies lazed around on the fluffy comfortable beds that came with the spectacular room. They wore the customary white bath robes, whilst watching cartoons on the T.V. Elle slapped her lips together as she swallowed yet another pillow chocolate. "God I love motels!" Niki simply nodded in agreement, chocolate round her mouth as well.

Claire rolled her eyes at them. With the two pairs of eyes glazing over as Marvin the martian performed his monologue about his doomsday device, they never noticed the door closing ever so slightly....

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Two men waited next to the ice machine, evil glints shinning with the moonlight in their eyes. This was it, one of them thought. The ultimate betrayal was about to be paid back in the most disgustingly devious way possible.....

A woman walked up to them. "So?"

The curly haired one turned towards her cockily. "He's asleep"

The three set off down the dark corridor. "And the other one?" She asked.

"Had a taco relapse" answered the other male in a smooth voice. "He'll be in the bathroom for another hour at least"

The woman laughed and sighed as they reached the door. "This is going to be so worth the look on his face."

**(5:36 a.m.)**

The sound of birds singing reached his ears and alerted him to the wonderful morn that was upon him. A new day had ultimately begun. But he did not want to get up; Surprisingly his bed was comfortable and warm, unlike the room he was currently staying in.

The wind played with the end of Peter's hair. Burying his face deeper into the pillow, he tried to stop the chilling breeze.....

Wait.

Wasn't the basement suit underneath the hotel, thus having no windows?

Wait.

Why was this surprisingly comfortable bed moving ever so gently?

Wait.

Why was he slightly wet?

Wait....

Peter shot up and wildly looked around. There he was....floating in the lake next to the motel he was currently staying in....completely naked. On the banks surrounding the lake stood over a dozen couples with children staring at him unashamed. Amongst them was Mohinder, Claire and Sylar laughing hysterically and taking pictures.

Peter's eyes turned into slits as he slammed his fists into the inflatable mattress he was currently floating on, accidently puncturing it and causing the boat to sink. Thus making everyone on the bank to now, including the children, laugh hysterically and cause the three original clowns to fall over laughing.

Peter resurfaced and spat the water out of his mouth.

Oh this was war.

His glare turned into a dangerous smile.

He was gonna take them all down.

Down brown town.

The hunt was on.

**8:O9 A.M.**

Ah breakfast, the most important meal of the day. It's one of those moments in the long day to follow where you can sit down and interact with family and friends with warmth and love. Its the time of the day when you start your day on a high.

Or you and the crew can end up sitting around the table in an awkward silence.

Whichever.

"The toast is really good huh guys? Best toast I've ever tasted actually. All buttery and everything. What about you Peter?" Hiro smiled over at Peter, trying to get a response out of his smirking friend.

"Ok fair enough" Hiro nodded his head uncomfortable at Peter's continuing silence and decided to let the overall silence of the group go it's course.

Mohinder shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He kept his brown eyes staring into the bowl of cornflakes sitting in front of him. Just a few hours ago he was having the time of his life, wetting himself with laughter at the sight of Peter spluttering and wet (as well as butt naked) clinging onto the inflatable matress for dear life. But now, now Mohinder was about to wet himself for an entirely different matter. He could have sworn that he saw a slight red tinge hungry for blood in his companions brown eyes.

It was either that or Peter had indigestion. Mohinder prayed for the latter.

"Ok! Who's ready to get going? Cos' I am feeling confident that today is going to bring us some awesome adventures!!" Elle gushed. She threw her napkin down on the table and stood tall, hands on hips, to look down on her friends who were, needless to say, not quite as excited as she was.

Claire idly pushed her bacon back and forth on her plate.

Niki stared blankly at the wall, drool starting to slip past her lips.

Hiro yawned loudly as he cracked his neck.

Mohinder was looking fearfully over at Jack, who folded his fingers in front of his face and smiled over at Suresh like he knew what the meaning of life was and wasn't gonna tell a soul.

And finally Sylar was over on the other side of the room taking in the sweet, sweet smell of Java coming from the coffee machine that was handing out free coffee.

Elle sighed, a little exasperated at their actions. "Come on guys. At least try to give me something here. Even a futile attempt would do"

Sylar walked over to the table, a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. "Well I'm ready to go Major Pain"

"Gee thanks Sylar" Elle replied sarcastically.

Peter finally broke out of his 'I know something you don't know Mohinder' state of mind and took out his wallet to pay for his share. "Come on guys let's just hit the road already. Besides I overheard some people talking about a county fair not far from here. We could go"

Elle put her hand up in the air. "All those in favour of going to the fair, say I"

A chorus of I's came from around the table. Everyone but Niki got up and paid for their breakfast. Mohinder looked over at Niki a little worried about the zombie like state she was in. Elle saw his worried gaze.

"Is she...?"

Elle laughed. "Nah. She just had a lot of sugar last night. I guess there's only so much you can digest in a short amount of time"

**(Last Night: Girls Room)**

Elle smiled in evil satisfaction as Niki's eyes glazed over unnaturally.

Observe an unhealthy Niki Sanders.

Her skin was no longer smooth and glowing. Instead it was red and her forehead was starting to sweat from the strain of breathing. Her normally silky blonde hair was now tangled and frizzy. The ends of her hair had somehow been tucked into her shirt. Long story short:

Niki had had way too much sugar, in a very short amount of time.

Elle bit her lip as she watched the tall blonde woman dance to the music that was in her head, and only she could hear. Elle's lips began to tremble. She really shouldn't laugh, really she shouldn't....

"BUUWWWHHHAHAHAHAHA!!" Elle was on the floor faster than a whale trying to fly. Claire came out of the bathroom still in the process of drying her hair with a towel. What she saw was not what any 'leader' would have wanted to see. Niki dancing on top of the rooms tallest dresser screeching the words to some Hannah Montana song.

No-one wants to see that.

"What in all that is holy and good!?" Claire turned to where Elle's blonde head was just visible above the beds. "Elle, what did you do to her?"

Elle tried to pull the famous Bishop 'I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' look. "Nothing"

"Nothing my ass" Claire pointed over to Niki, who was now attempting to make shadow puppets on the wall...without shadows. "Look at her! Before I left she was perfectly...Niki! And now she's..."

Elle's eyes widened. "Bennet, move. Now." She hissed.

"Hey, I'm thinking here" She crossed her arms and lifted a brow. The famed Bennet 'I'm-thinking-so-no-one-move-or-I'll-eat-you' look.

Because she had become slightly unfocused to the world, she didn't see Niki creep up behind her. But Elle did. Now Elle really didn't mind Claire, she liked her a lot better than her dipstick father. But did this young blonde like her that much? Should she give another warning about the noisiest predator this side of the Milky Way?

Nah.

"I GOTCHYA!!" Niki pounced on her indestructable friend awkwardly. So awkwardly in fact that she totally missed her target and slapped her face into the window with a large THWACK!

Elle knew what was going to happen now. She knew it.

That was it. The end of her rope.

She was going to die laughing.

She was on all fours again, trying to catch a breath to feed her deprived lungs some well needed oxygen. "Niki....What the hell!?"

Claire on the other hand walked gingerly over to the unmoving Niki. "Niki? Niki are you Ok?" She rolled her over and screamed.

Elle sprung up and quickly ran over to the two. "What? What - Oh my God...."

There lying on the floor, on Niki's face, was the redest most painful looking mark in the history of marks. It was clearly going to leave a nasty bruise.

Elle's scream awoke Niki from her unconscious state. "Elle...Claire....Why does my face hurt?" Elle bent down while Claire went to get a wet face towel.

"Nik, you've got the biggest welt forming into the biggest bruise on your face"

Niki's fingers gingerly went up to touch her face. All along the right side of her face felt bumpy and felt like it was on fire. "Oh God my face!" She glared at Elle. "I'm never eating Sugar with you again!"

Claire walked back in and knelt down on the other side of her fallen friend. She carefully placed a wet white cloth on the right side of her face. "Hold that down and the swelling should go down" Niki gave her the unbelieving eye. "Trust me Niki: I'm an expert at this. Do you know how many times I used to do this with Peter?"

Another look. "Ok he wasn't high on sugar but nonetheless. Peter is a danger to beatings all over the world." Claire's eyes widened as she remembered something.

"Speaking of Peter. Elle have some of these pillow chocolates, I'm gonna put some cartoons on now and just pop out to get some ice"

**(Back to present)**

"And that's why Niki looks like a zombie this fine morn. Her brain cells haven't regenerated yet."

Mohinder gave her a look of mixed shock and pity. "Oh" He looked over at her. "Why hasn't she got....You know..." He moved his hand slowly down the side of his face.

Elle waved her hand in the air. "Oh that. Luckily we girls know how to use make-up to the max" She looked over at the sad figure slumping over the table and sighed. "Sylar, help me and Suresh get her to the van" Sylar stopped in mid-step.

"Why not?"

Mohinder stopped him before he got there. "I thought Niki annoyed you?"

Sylar shrugged. "I nothing her...even if the only time I ever met her was when she clobbered me round the head. That hurts you know" Sylar finished, his thoughts remembering that day. "Lets go"

"Come on, admitt it. Your just a big softie like Peter really" Mohinder smiled.

Sylar smiled back. "Yeah, like Peter...who right now is going to take you to hell. What? Forgot about that already?" He walked past him and over to Niki, using his telekinesis to make her float.

Mohinder looked down at his feet, eyes wide.

He was going to die.

* * *

Ok so there we are. What did you think? Coming up in upcoming chapters: Mohinder looses his mind; Peter and Elle get closer; Claire slowly becomes the leader; Niki begins to wonder why God hates her; Hiro remains bubbly despite the obvious horrors he reveals about his past; Sylar shows his knowledge of crappy plotlines and other favourite characters make a special appearances at the fair and a brothel. That's right people.

It's going to make you mess yourself. Trust.


	4. Fair Play

**Ok so first thing, you guys have been amazing with your reviews and I can only hope you'll keep it going lol you make my world. **

**I sincerly hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

PROJECT EPILOGUE

All of his life people thought that he would be the one to never do anything spectacular. Even his friends thought that Peter Petrelli would eventually have 2.5 kids with some ordinary nice woman and live in a two story house with a white picket fence out the front. Well he didn't have 2.5 kids now did he? Right now Peter loved the life of being a bachelor, helping random people at the hospital who got into trouble with other random people.

And he knew that he had had enough of his friends and people in general thinking that he, good dependable Peter, couldn't do anything that could be possibly hilariously stupid.

He was a male dammit! Despite what Sylar kept telling him! And it was time for him to step up and take the role that had been passed down from generation to generation in the human race.

Peter was going to prank Mohinder Suresh and it was going to go off like a house on fire. Or so help him God....

Oh and of course Claire and Sylar too....but luckily for them Agent Petrelli executes his plans of domination and humiliation one at a time.

Operation Epilogue was about to begin.

Peter smiled to himself as his eyes locked with Mohinder's in the rearview mirror. His curly friend was literally sweating buckets; Peter could see the beginnings of droplets on his forehead. Peter's brown eyes went back to the road to find a parking space near to the fair so the gang could walk there but not pay for a space.

Parking perfectly, and still sporting a dangerous smile, Peter put the hand brake on and turned to listen to Elle's plan for the day. She unbuckled her seatbelt and looked at her posse. "Ok guys you have two options, we can go in one big group or we can split up once we get inside. Personally I think it would be better if we -"

"You want to go in one big group don't you" Claire interrupted.

Elle blinked and smiled a little irritated by the blonde. "Well yes -"

"Great! I wanna go in two groups" Claire smiled back.

Elle clutched her jaw. "Fine but I just think it would be better if we all -"

Mohinder jumped at the chance of not being in the same place as Peter and supported Claire's idea. "Wicked! Two groups it is! Everybody out!"

The seven friends leapt from their musty van and walked towards the fairs entrance. Sylar leaned over and whispered in Claire's ear. "You did that just to annoy her huh?"

Claire put on a blatantly fake shocked expression on her face. "Who? Me?" She pointed to herself. "No." She then smiled coyly at him and quickened her pace.

Sylar just laughed at her under his breath. "The force is strong with that one"

Stopping at the gate Peter turned to everyone. "Alright, I think we should go with the people who want to do the same things as us and....Niki are you feeling Ok?"

Niki was leaning against the fence staring at an ant on her shoe. "Fine" She mumbled.

"Are you sure?"

"What are you a Doctor!?"

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Er...yes"

Claire rolled her eyes. "Your not a doctor Peter -"

"I'm pretty damn close!"

"Well I'll be going to the sideshows" Hiro suggested "I could be leader of one of the groups maybe?"

"Great!" Claire put one hand on Hiro's shoulder and then rested the other on Elle's "Elle you got the other group"

Elle quickly pulled away from the other woman. "What!? Oh, hell no. See I was just gonna get some fairy floss, rip off a few carnies and that's about it. I am not babysitting some of these idiots."

Five pairs of heads whipped round to face her. "Hey!"

"Claire why do you hate me?"

"Gee...that's a toughy" Claire answered, dripping with sarcasm.

Peter just rolled his eyes. "Listen, Elle I'm just gonna get some food as well so I'll go with you"

Elle waved her hand in the air, absent minded. "Whatever"

Peter beamed. Claire rolled her eyes and turned to Mohinder who was, strangley, seemingly hiding behind her. "Could you get any more obvious that he likes her?"

"Aslong as he's looking at her who gives a shit"

Claire sighed. "Suresh you can't hide behind me forever"

Suresh's eyes narrowed as he pointed an accusing finger at Claire. "You do NOT know that!"

"Great!" Peter smiled at Elle. "Sylar your coming with us -"

"What! Why?" Sylar exclaimed.

"Because I said so" Peter looked at Niki and frowned. "Hiro you can have Niki..."

Hiro shook his head. "No way Peter, I have a terrified Dr. Suresh in my group. You have the other weird one."

With that, Hiro, Claire and Mohinder walked off towards the sideshows. Sylar put up his hand. "Wait." Peter and Elle glanced at him. "We get stuck with THAT." He pointed at Niki, who was now slumped into the sidewalk babbling away happily to her new ant friend. Elle just nodded and started off in the other direction that the others went. Peter shrugged at him as he helped his troubled friend to her feet to follow after Elle. Sylar was left standing on his own, watching their retreating backs.

He sighed as he began dragging his feet. "I'm really gonna do it this time, I'm gonna kill someone."

* * *

"Roll up roll up, try your hand at the hammer throw-"

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Come and have a try at the famous-"

"WOO! Folks we have a winner!"

"Knock over the pins and you win a prize!"

Claire, Mohinder and Hiro passed many stalls that tried to get their attention, but to no avail. Tents lined both sides of the path that the little group took. Hiro had a bounce in his step as he flapped the notes of money in his hand excitedly. He stopped in front of one of the many tents. His eyes sparkled as they locked on to one of the stuffed toys that could be won. That purple monkey was calling his name and who was he to deny such a calling.

As Hiro ran up to the vender to buy as many tickets as he could, Claire dragged Mohinder with her to sit down on a bench to see if lady luck was on Hiro's side. But her friend wasn't all that interested in their Asian friends fortune. His dark brown eyes went backwards and forwards quickly, keeping an eye out for a potential prank attack from his so called 'Friend'.

Claire noticed his sharp movements; her face showed just what she thought of him. "You're an idiot Mohinder. Absolutely pathetic."

Mohinder whipped his head to hers. "What?"

Claire rolled her eyes for what seemed like the thounsandth time. "Listen it's not like Peter's going to "Attack" you in front of the many people here. Oh AND he won't do anything when you expect something."

"So what do you suggest?"

Claire patted his leg. "Relax! Read your book or something."

Mohinder laughed out breathlessly "Yeah, I think I might do that." He pulled out 'Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows' out of the backpack that held all of the groups stuff.

Claire noticed the book. "Aren't we a bit behind the times?"

Mohinder opened the book to where his book mark was. "Hey I'm nearly finished and…OH MY GOD!"

Mohinder's outburst made Claire jump and smile uncomfortably at passing people who looked just as surprised at her friend. She slapped him on the arm. "What's your problem?!"

"My…It…The epilogue's gone!" Mohinder stressed, flipping through the book.

As the pages turned a piece of notepad paper fell out. "Suresh, this yours?" Claire picked it up and examined it carefully.

Mohinder watched her. "No…" He looked back at his book. "What the hell? I want to know what happens!"

Suddenly Claire laughed. "Suresh…you'd better read this."

She handed him the piece of paper.

_To Mohinder,_

_Did you really think you'd get away with dumping me in that lake without so much as my favourite pair of jim-jams? I think not. I now call a war my 'friend', each prank needs to be better then the one pulled previously by your opponent. Now enough about my proposition and more about my prank._

_I am currently holding your epilogue hostage. If you ever want to see it again, follow the clues that you'll find around the fair. Oh and don't even think about trying to find me 'cos I won't tell you where it is…That wouldn't be fun, now would it?_

_Good luck, you're going to need it…_

_With love,_

_Jack._

_PS. Sucka!_

_Clue 1:_

_I'm here in a tent, Can you find me?_

_If you can't, don't worry._

_I'm sure you will if you follow the yellow brick road…_

Mohinder re-read the note three more times. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLY CHRISTMAS!?!"

"_Follow the yellow brick road…_ Well that's interesting."

Claire scratched her chin thoughtfully. Ten minutes had passed and she was left to try and figure out Peter's clue. All the while Suresh was cursing the dark haired Paramedic next to her, offering no help what so ever.

"Hiro!" Claire called. "Come over here a sec."

Hiro, who was currently cuddling his purple stuffed monkey, walked cheerfully over to them. "Cheerleader, I got it!" He looked at the doll in his hands. "In your FACE purple monkey man!"

Claire shook her head at him. "Hiro…" She handed him the clue. "Where do you think this is?"

Taking the paper out of her hands, the young man pushed the purple monkey into Mohinder's face. "Here, hold on to Schnitzel for me."

Mohinder gave an unsure glance at the toy. "Schnitzel?"

"Just hold it." Claire sighed.

Hiro gave Claire a smile and read the clue. "Hmm, _Follow the yellow brick road_…Well isn't that interesting."

"That's what she said." Mohinder groaned indicating towards Claire. "I'm never going to find out the ending. Peter you bastard!"

"Hey! That's my Uncle and hero you're talking about! Do you want the help or not?" Claire asked. Only a shrug was given in reply. "That's what I thought." She smiled.

* * *

"Peter can I go to the-"

"No"

"Peter can I go over-"

"No"

"Peter what if I-"

"No."

"Peter are you-"

"No"

"Peter maybe if I-"

Elle stopped mid step and she snapped, badly. "For god's sake Petrelli, just let him do _something_ or it's your big ugly head. Got it?"

As Niki was still in her sugar coma, she didn't notice that Elle had stopped in front of her and she bumped destructively into her back. The two fell to the ground in an ungraceful heap. Peter and Sylar looked at one another and then towards their friends in the dirt.

Sylar bit his lip, "I know we shouldn't…"

Peter shook his head. "Nah, it's best if we do it now. You know, get it over and done with."

And so on the count of three they flung their heads back in laughter at the sight of Elle still trying to untangle her legs from under Niki.

"Shut up," she muttered through her gritted teeth.

Peter bent down and helped Niki to her feet. "Nik you ok? Or are you still dancing with the fairies?"

Niki winced at the pain in her neck and head. She looked at her surroundings and her eyes landed on the watery eyed Sylar. "I am never going to be alone with you or Elle ever again." Sylar burst out with another round of fresh laughter. He groped for the building next to him blindly. His back hit the wall behind him and he slid down it slowly, all while laughing at Niki's statement.

"This is the best road trip I've been on… EVER!"

Elle shook her head and bent down beside him. "This is the _only_ road trip you've been on…ever."

Sylar abruptly stopped laughing and glared at the woman whom he looked up to. "Shut up."

Peter watched Niki with mild interest.

"What?" Niki self consciously asked.

Peter jumped slightly at the question. "Nothing, nothing…" But he continued to look at her.

Sylar and Elle got up and stood either side of Peter. "What 'cha staring- Holy crap! Nik, your um…"

She looked over herself quickly. "My what? My what?! Oh dear god, my what?!"

Elle gazed at Niki's eyes, her mouth hanging open. "Ok, Niki…I am so sorry I didn't mean for that to happen…"

"WHAT?!" Niki screamed

Peter put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "Do you have a mirror?"

"Y-yeah in my handbag. What's going on?" She handed him the bag.

Peter rummaged through the bag intently. "Here we are. Um, Nik…Just don't…"

"Freak out." Sylar put in.

Niki's blue eyes looked into her mirror. What she saw not only made her terrified but also slightly confused. Her reflection showed her flawless face and hair, but also her eyes…Some how her pupils had dilated so much they were almost the size of her actual eye ball.

"AHHHHHH!!!!"

Hiro led Claire and Mohinder through the numerous people at the fair.

Mohinder trudged along next to Claire.

"You're pathetic," she muttered to him.

Mohinder glanced angrily towards her. "And the last time you said that, I lost valuable information!"

Claire rolled her eyes and called for Hiro to stop. "Mohinder, why don't one of us tell you the ending. The book's been out years now and we've both finished it."

Hiro touched her arm. "But that's missing the whole point Cheerleader."

"Yeah." Mohinder agreed, but then looked at Hiro. "It is?"

Hiro took them both by the shoulders and started to walk again. "Yes. Don't you see, this is a game my faithful companions. A game of wit and stealth. Of imagination and teamwork. Unknowingly, today we have chosen our team mates for the prank war and we have to stick together. Help one another out as only a team can. So you see, telling him the ending would be shot gunning passed the inter point of team work."

Mohinder wiped a tear away. "That was beautiful Hiro"

"Yeah that was awe inspiring Martin Luthor King." Claire said sarcastically "But how is not telling him NOT helping him through team work?"

Hiro and Mohinder stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"It just is." Hiro answered. "Anyway here we are." He gestured towards a fortune tellers yellow tent. The sign above read 'Follow the road to your future with Madam Barry'.

"This is where the next clue is…With a dude dressed as a lady?" Claire asked.

"Who cares? That he-man has my piece of paper!" Mohinder ran into the tent quickly, leaving behind his two friends outside.

Hiro shrugged his shoulders at Claire and walked in after him.

Claire sighed and looked at the sign once more. "A fortune teller… 'Cos that's original Peter."

"Welcome to the beyond…" A deep airy voice greeted the three friends as Claire finally entered the tent behind Mohinder and Hiro. A voice which they all noticed was a little too deep. "Hello children of the future. Come hither into my humble aura."

Mohinder leaned over to Hiro. "You know for a moment there, I thought he was going to say 'Children of the corn'."

Hiro nodded solemnly. "As did I my friend. As did I."

Claire pushed Mohinder forward. "Ask for your clue so we can get out of here. This place gives me the creeps."

The light from the numerous candles lining the tent sent shadows dancing along the fabricated stone walls, making it seem like they were in a medieval dungeon. Sitting at the far end of the tent sat, who Claire assumed to be Madam Barry. In her old tattered purple dress with a frayed hem. A black scarf hid what colour her hair was but it was obvious that her head was cleanly shaven. Unfortunately Madam Barry's face was not. With three day re-growth on the cheeks, the only people who could be fooled were two year old children.

Mohinder stepped up to the table which Madam Barry sat at. "Listen, do you have a clue or something for me. My name is-"

"Mohinder, this I know already." Madam Barry's hands worked around the large crystal ball in front of her.

"Oh she's good." Hiro whispered to Claire. She cocked an eyebrow.

"She can read Hiro…Mohinder has his name on a name tag he bought at the front gate. Why? I don't know."

"Yes Mohinder, I have a clue for you from your companion Peter. It said-"

Mohinder interrupted "Woah, what do you mean 'it'? Do you mean 'it' as in past tense?"

Madam Barry nodded. "Yes…It said-"

Hiro stepped up next to Mohinder. "Hey, it's his clue, or it was, what happened to it?"

Madam Barry shifted her cold blue eyes to Hiro. "It was unneeded by destiny." She looked back to Mohinder. "Now, your clue said-"

Claire slapped a hand on the table. "Where's the clue mama Baz?"

"Aright, fine!" Madam Barry's voice lost the mystical edge to it and became even more deep and manly then before. "Your God damn clue was eaten by the God damn pig at the God damn petting zoo. You happy now you little bastards? Jeez, a guy tries to make an honest buck and what does he get…?"

The three friends looked shocked for a moment. Hiro was the first to snap out of the daze they were in. "Does this mean we have to slaughter a pig and drain its blood out so we can play a prank on a loser at the prom called Carrie?"

Mohinder blinked. "What?"

Hiro turned to him. "'Cos I'll do it for the team."

Claire pulled a pen and paper out of the bag on Mohinder's back. "Just tell me the clue and we can go about our business."

"Ok well that hot bloke named Peter gave me a clue that said…"

_I see you have discovered where my brother hid_

_But do not smile as I am just getting started, _

_What you search for has already been told_

_So do not diddle and be slow_

_Or else your epilogue's fate will be cold,_

_(I'm gonna put it in liquid nitrogen Mohinder)_

_Happy hunting, _

_Love Peter!_

"Son of a…What kind of clue is that?" Mohinder was tempted to shred the note in two right then and there. But unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, Claire was holding the darsted clue in her hands.

"Well, obviously we've been told where the clue is…"

Hiro gripped Schnitzel tightly in one hand as he attempted to eat fairy floss with the other. "I could still-"

"No slaughtering of pigs! Wait, pigs…" Claire bit her lip thoughtfully.

"Claire, I don't think it would be that easy." Mohinder muttered

Hiro put Schnitzel in the backpack. "Oh but…maybe it is that easy. No, no hear me out. Maybe Peter made sure Barry said something about the petting zoo so we would think that it might be at the petting zoo. _But_ he would also think that we could think that it would be too easy to be at the petting zoo and go wonder off somewhere else, spending our time looking for a place that doesn't have the clue but we've heard of it. _But_ the clue won't be there and it won't be there because in fact, it was so easy in the first place that it was right there in the petting zoo the whole time being sat on by a prize winning hog in the mud!"

"…Is it wrong of me to have actually understood what he just said?" Mohinder whispered to Claire.

"In some ways, yes. But Personally I would say no because I also understood what he just said." Claire whispered back.

"Oh good."

Hiro clapped his hands together. "So what do you say guys, shall we go to the petting zoo when I'm right now or when I'm right later?"

"Welcome to the haunted house of dead, be terrified at the living creatures of the night. Vampires will jump out at you and suck your blood, werewolves will howl in the night before jumping at your throat, Zombies will drag their rotting flesh towards you with the intent to eat you brains…"

Doesn't that sound exciting? Too bad Peter, Sylar, Niki and Elle aren't there.

**(Fair nurse's office)**

"Alright dear let's take a look at these eyes of yours." The middle aged red headed nurse shone a bright light into Elle's eyes.

"Hey lady, you got the wrong blonde. Your patient's over there." Elle pointed over to the door and over to her other companions. Niki, who was wearing her large black sunglasses, walked purposely to the nurse. "I'm having a little trouble with my eyes."

"Yes, yes of course." The nurse whose name was Betty, motioned for Niki to sit in a chair next to her. "Now let's see these eyes of yours."

Niki timidly removed her glasses and locked gazes with Betty.

"So? What's the verdict? Will she live to see another day? Pun intended." Sylar asked.

Betty examined Niki's eyes intently before answering. "Your friend's going to be fine. The over abundance of sugar in her system has made its way into her eyes and affected them. But she just needs to go into a dark room for an hour or so and the swelling should go down." She smiled at Niki.

Niki's own smile diminished ever so slightly. Her nurse's teeth were straight, the straightest she had ever seen. Niki wanted to cover her eyes with her glasses again from the sheer whiteness of Betty's toothy grin. She could've sworn she could see her own reflection. That unnatural smile was just that, unnatural. The freaky kind.

As soon as Betty had her back to the group Niki signalled to Peter to get them all out of there.

Soon.

As in that moment.

Peter looked at the other two by his side, they had seen the message too. They then had an eye argument between the three of them on how to get out of there discreetly. Finally ending the little two on one argument, Peter sighed in resignation. Who was he to silently argue with Sylar and Elle?

So instead of doing things politely and calmly like he wanted, he broke down and went with the others plan. So he sucked in a lungful of air and bellowed out.

"NOW!!!!"

Without fault he got Niki up as Elle hit Nurse Betty in the back of the head, knocking her out. Sylar quickly flung the door open and ushered Niki and Peter out. He then turned back to Elle who was busy tying the nurse up with a phone cord.

"Elle, come on, we got to go!"

Elle got up and dusted herself off. She then pulled out a pen and a piece of paper and wrote:

_It was Colonel Mustard in the Dining Room with the revolver. _

"Ok," she smirked at her genius note. She then turned and grabbed Sylar by the arm. The two of them ran out of the office right behind Peter and Niki. The girls and Sylar laughed their heads off as they ran away. Peter just sighed again and ran with them. He needed to make some new friends.

**(At The Petting Zoo)**

The smell of animal excrement hit the noses of the group that had been dubbed 'Terror Schnitzel'. Claire dry reached, it shouldn't have been that bad for her because of all the times she spent pushing body organs back into herself, but all of those animals in that little tent…It was just too, too much. Mohinder shook his head to try and get the smell out of his senses, while Hiro covered his nose with the neck of his shirt.

"Ok gang!" Claire and Mohinder turned to Hiro, who still had Schnitzel's head poking out of the back pack. "Shaggy, you and Scooby go check in the basement." He put his arm around Claire. "While me and Daphne go back to the shaggin' wagon and check for clues there." Hiro finished with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows.

In the background the fair's loud speaker went on: "We have four suspicious suspects on the lose heading in the general direction of the rides. These four; two women and two men are crafty and willing to leave stupid clues at the crime scene. Be very careful around this group. Have a nice day."

Claire hit Hiro playfully in the stomach. "Too bad I don't swing that way, Velma."

Hiro nodded. "Nice comeback…"

Mohinder clicked his fingers in front of their faces. "Hey! I need to find my clue…Now!"

The two separated. "Jeez, talk about mister non patient…" Hiro mumbled.

"What was that?" Mohinder snapped.

Hiro froze "Um…Jeez, talk about…Those…Dude let's go find your clue!"

Mohinder took the others by their shoulders. "It better have been…" He whispered to Hiro. "Anyway, I think we should split up in here. Claire go to the baby animals."

Claire pumped her fist in the air. "Score!" and ran excitedly to the baby ducklings.

"Why does she get the cute ones?" Hiro complained.

Mohinder glared at Hiro "'Cos I said so…You're going to the pigs."

"NOOOO! Wait, where are you going?"

Mohinder crossed his arms together smugly. "I'm going to the bunnies."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

**(At the haunted house)**

"Welcome to the haunted house of dead, be terrified at the living creatures of the night. Vampires will jump out at you and suck your blood, werewolves will howl in the night before jumping at your throat, Zombies will drag their rotting flesh towards you with the intent to eat your brains…"

"I think we should go here," Peter said as he stopped in front of the black building. Grey and black tattered curtains fluttered in the wind. "A) It's a good place to hide from the fair guards and B) Niki's eyes can get better. Two birds with one stone."

Elle smirked. "Please…You just want to get us girls in the scary house so you can protect us."

"No…Come on, I'll pay."

Elle was already half way to the paying booth. "Well, come on boy scout. Move it"

Peter stuffed his hand into his pocket to get his wallet out. "You just want a free ride." He accused.

"Yeah, 'cos walking around in a house with a badly made prosthetic Dracula is a heart stopping ride. I can't wait to throw up my jam doughnuts." Elle said sarcastically.

Sylar and Niki smiled to themselves at the teasing duo and went over to the paying booth after Peter.

**(Petting Zoo)**

"IT'S NOT HERE!!" Mohinder yelled in despair, not noticing the stares of parents and children at his outburst.

A mud covered Hiro picked straw out of his hair. "It was worth a shot…"

Mohinder punched Hiro in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Hiro complained

Mohinder pointed a finger at him. "YOU were the one who said it would be here! But it's not here Nakamura…IT"S NOT HERE!!"

Claire ran from out of nowhere and slapped Suresh in the face. "Pull yourself together man!"

Mohinder blinked in surprise. "I'm sorry." He whispered softly. "I'm sorry Hiro. I shouldn't have just blamed you. We're in this together…"

Hiro patted Mohinder on the back. "It's cool Dr. Suresh. I forgive and forget easy."

Mohinder shook his head. "No. We're a team…I should've blamed Claire too."

"See was-Wait what?" Claire asked.

Mohinder smiled at her. "I blame all of us for this."

Claire's blank face snapped and she jumped onto Mohinder's back. "AH!! Hiro get her off me!"

Hiro, seeing his fellow man in danger, started to tap Claire numerously on the face to annoy her. He did this while chanting 'We are the Champions' under his breath.

"What the Hell is going on here?"

The voice stopped the trio in their tracks. A very obvious ground guard crossed his arms together. "I think you three better come with me…"

* * *

So what did you think? Let me know people. In the next chapter we find some of our other favourite characters getting into trouble at the fair.


	5. Crappy Carts and Zombies

Thank you so much for all your kind words. They mean the world to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own heroes, but I'm thinkin the fans should

* * *

Peter, Sylar and Elle sat boredly in the cart as it strolled through the haunted mansion. Cheap glow in the dark pictures of vampires were drawn on the walls and the chilling music had suddenly stopped two seconds after their entry.

Unfortunately that was the best part of the show.

Sylar blew out a breath of boredom. "Whose crappy idea was this again?"

"Hey now" Peter defended. "We're not getting caught by security are we? And Niki's eyes seem to be getting better."

"No their not" Elle argued.

"Listen Bishop, I'm the one with the medical training. I think I know the human body. I mean look at her! Her skins back to normal and she's smiling"

"Peter that's not Niki. That's the zombie Sylar stole from the coffin with it's face chewed off a few minutes a go."

Sylar smiled like a five-year old on christmas. "I'm gonna call him Kevin"

Peter paused. "So then where's Niki?"

"She got off when we passed that workman pretending to be a skeleton." She answered remembering the event.

"Oh yeah! He was doing the robot."

"Kevin could kick that guy's ass into the ground. Zombies rule at doing the robot." Sylar piped up and causing Elle to roll her eyes.

Peter raised an eyebrow. "What are you basing that on?" Sylar stared back at him blankly.

"The thriller video by Michael Jackson"

**(pause)**

"That video rocked!" Peter yelled.

"Hell yeah it did!"

The two grown men high-fived before proceeding to sing the chorus and attempting their own versions of the classic dance. Elle rested her head on her right hand and closed her eyes in dismay. What she wouldn t give to get away from these damn idiots. All she wanted was a nice little road trip with her friends, not to get caught in the middle of some stupid bromance.

Niki stood outside, thinking about Micah. Her only son. Her flesh and blood. She was beginning to miss holding him close to her. His small sweet voice calling her when she awoke.

However she hadn't been laid since she got pregnant with the little shit.

Niki needed some lovin' soon or she feared she might explode. Peter had told her once, after she had expressed her fears, that he had come across people in the hospital who had simply just gone up in flames because they hadn't gotten any. Some poor souls had even burned after only a couple of months.

_**May they rest in peace**_ Niki thought somberly.

"Niki?" Came a voice from behind her. Niki spun around to find Noah Bennet and Tracy Strauss looking at her in shock.

"Bennet? Tracy? What are you two doing here?" She asked, confused.

"We came with Nathan and Parkman, but we ran into some...trouble" Bennet explained.

"What kind of trouble?"

Noah and Tracy exchanged a look. Tracy put her hands into her back pocket. "It's a long story, but they ended up in the holding cell just outside of the fair."

"A holding cell?" Niki was confused. "Surely you can t be serious?"

Noah looked at her blankly. "She is serious. And don't call her shirley."

The twins looked at him a little worried. Niki tried to make sense of what he was saying. "I said surely, not Shirley -"

"Don't bother Nik." Tracy interrupted. "He hasn t been the same since the accident."

Noah snapped his head towards her. "It was not an accident! If it wasn t for Peter and Sylar I'd still have both my testicals!"

Niki and Tracy looked away awkwardly as Noah began some breathing exercises to calm himself down.

"Find your center Bennet." The man told himself. "You're soaring free above the clouds. No-one can touch you."

Tracy looked to her sister, trying her best to ignore her friend. "So Nik, I haven t seen you since my birthday."

"Oh yeah, that was a good night" Niki smiled.

"Yeah...if a little strange"

*****BEGIN FLASHBACK*****

**Tracy's Birthday - Her House.**

"Peter just do it already!"

"I'm not ready"

"Just forget about that and stick it in!"

"It's not as easy as it looks Elle"

"You could maybe push a little harder"

"I'm doing the best I can!"

"I'm sure"

"Look i've already told you, it's just too big"

"God do I have to do everything? You'll have me bending over backwards next"

Niki froze as her eyes widened just before the kitchen entrance, thankful that it was dark. She glanced at Tracy who had just emerged from the bathroom. The woman looked curiously at her before moving to find out what had her twin so befuddled.

Niki frowned. Did they really have to do it in the kitchen!? She had only wanted a glass of water, not a dinner and a show.

She heard Elle sigh in disappointment. "I knew this wouldn t work"

Tracy raised a brow, still a little confused. Niki waved her hand dismissively. They really needed to stop listening...as in now.

"No you can't give up! We're going to do this even if it takes all night!" Peter reassured with firm resolve.

_Wow_.

"Do we have to? I'm not really in the mood -"

"You said you wanted to do this, so we re doing it!"

"Maybe I changed my mind?" Niki heard Peter sigh. He was really pushing this, wasn t he?

"I don t think so Elle. I know how stubborn you are and it was your idea to do this...which means -"

"We're gonna do it" Elle sighed in defeat. A slap resounded in the room after an obvious male chuckle.

"Ow! What'd you hit me for?"

_Hang on, that voice wasn t Peter..._

"You're not supposed to laugh in situations such as these!"

"Hey I'm supervising remember."

Elle's voice became more authoritive. "Not anymore Matt."

_Matt!?!_

Matt sighed. "And when did you make up this rule?"

"Just now, but it s really known throughout the world. So are we gonna do this or not?" She finished in a purr that made Niki cringe slightly and Tracy finally catch on completely. They really shouldn't be listening...

"Yes but it's still too big" Peter answered. "Just let me figure out the logistics..."

_Logistics?_

"And I'm supposed to just stand here and film it...while you two do all the work?" Matt asked, his tone telling them he wasn't completely against the idea.

"I'm not sure I should let you handle it just yet, and Elle just give it time to warm up before you get your frosty hands all over it." Peter tried to explain so as to not hurt her feelings.

It didn't work.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elle asked, offended. "I can handle anything you ve got!"

"I know that." He placated quickly, not wanting to fight.

"I don't think you do." Elle suggested.

Here there was a slight shuffling. "Let me take over." Matt's suggestion sent chills through both Niki and Tracy.. At least there wasn t going to be a fight and things were back on track.

Not that that was really a good thing.

"I don't know" Peter sounded puzzled. "Maybe we should flip first..."

_Jesus H Christ..._

"Bug off" Elle stepped in. "This isn't my first time you know." She finished. Peter growled.

Tracy raised both eyebrows. Not really the kind of thing you say to the man who is currently -

"Not with me you haven't." Matt retorted grumpily in a sulk and causing Elle to laugh.

"What happened to your no laughing rule?"

"It only really applies to you."

Yes, Niki agreed with a nod, he should have figured.

Peter sighed, tired. "Look Elle, maybe you were right earlier. I'm not really in the mood now either..."

"Yeah." Matt agreed. "And I'm chaffing"

Elle blinked. "What?"

"You heard me."

Elle shook her head. "No way are you stopping now! You drag me down here in the middle of the night..."

_Really?_

"-get my hopes up and now you're not in the mood? Boulder dash!"

"You said it first! Am I not allowed to use that excuse? - Is it only reserved for women when they can't be bothered? Kinda like an ace up your sleeve right? It's always there" Peter complained.

"Oh please" She groaned, which meant she wanted to argue but couldn t really deny his glorious claim.

"Please what?" Peter teased.

"Peter just stick it in there already!"

"Alright! That's it!" Niki exclaimed, her face flushed from listening for as long as she did. Tracy followed behind her, unable to hide the little smirk forming on her face.

"What?" All three asked simultaneously, baffled expressions on their faces. On closer inspection the three were all wearing aprons, Matt's stating the he was 'Pretty In Pink', and flower covering the entire kitchen. A half empty packet of pancakes next to them. Niki and Tracy breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're cooking." Tracy breathed out.

"Yeah just trying to do something nice for your birthday." Peter explained, all three of them still looked baffled.

Elle turned around. "Alright Peter just stick the pancakes in there. Break them up if their too big and remember to flip them."

Niki and Tracy looked at each other, a dawning realisation on both their faces.

"Yeah, it's too late for the logistics and the pans warmed up now" Peter agreed. "Make sure you get this on camera Matt, we can still show everyone else the tape tomorrow even if Tracy already knows."

Matt nodded. "Gotchya."

"Alright well thanks you guys. I'll see you in the morning" Tracy waved at them and walked up the stairs with Niki, her thirst having mysteriously vanished. As soon as they had gone Peter turned off the power.

"Alright!" He clapped his hands together. "So shall we get this three way under way then?"

*****END FLASHBACK*****

"Wow" Noah said, shocked. Tracy and Niki nodded.

"Yep. Thought me and Nik couldn't hear them just because we were going up the stairs. I haven't slept right since."

Just then Peter, Sylar and Elle waltzed out of the door to their right. Sylar, still holding Kevin, strode straight up to the man they had paid for their tickets.

"Hey comb-over" He called, earning the aging man's attention. "What in the hell was that!? I've seen scarier moles than that travesty!"

"Sir...What are you doing with the zombie?"

Sylar hugged Kevin protectively. "I'm keeping him as compensation."

"I'm sorry sir, but the zombie has to stay." Sylar seemed to consider his options before angrily throwing kevin to the floor.

"Are you happy?"

The aging ticket man lowered his head in sadness. "I've never been happy."

Sylar turned with Peter and Elle to see Niki, Noah and Tracy staring at them.

"Noah?"

"Peter"

"Tracy?"

"Elle."

"Bennet?"

"Sylar."

"Peter."

"Tracy?"

"Bennet?"

"Elle."

"Sylar."

"Tracy?"

All six paused for a moment, a little turned around. Niki put her hands on her hips.

"Ahem!" The blonde cleared her throat, put out that everyone had seemed to forget her.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Nik."

"Thank you"

"What are you doing here?" Elle asked confused.

"We came with Nathan and Matt, but we got into some trouble and now their in the holding cell just outside of the fair..."

"Holding cell?" Elle questioned. "Surely you can t be serious?"

Noah glared at her. "Her name is Tracy." He then turned his glare to Peter and Sylar, who immediately found the sky fascinating.

Elle shook her head. "Well we're in trouble too. We had an accident in the nurses office."

"Oh, another accident" Noah said in mock surprise, still staring at Peter and Sylar. "How interesting."

"Yes. Very interesting." The gang turned around to find four security guards and two officers staring at them. "You're nicked." Niki stamped her feet.

"Oh fudgesicles."

* * *

So let me know what you think people


	6. Jail birds

Thank you so much for all your kind words. They mean the world to me.

**Disclaimer: I don't own heroes, but I'm thinkin the fans should.**

* * *

Claire, Mohinder and Hiro watched the cell door slam shut in front of them. The cell was dark and drippy with a strange smell emanating from it.

"What is that smell?" Claire sniffed the air.

"Don't look at me" Mohinder insisted before both he and Claire slowly turned their heads to Hiro.

"Yeah I get it. Ask the asian guy."

"It's not him." Came a voice from the shadows. Much to the three's shock, Nathan crept out from the shadows, Matt right behind him. "Matt let one off about five minutes ago."

Mohinder stepped forward. "Nathan? What are you doing here?"

"Wait wait wait" Hiro warned. "Did you say five minutes ago?"

Nathan nodded. "It's a Stayer"

"Impressive my man" Hiro praised the ex-cop known as Matt Parkman. Matt nodded appreciatively.

"But to answer your question Suresh, myself and Matt along with Bennet and Tracy got into some trouble."

Hiro raised his head. "Mr Bennet and Tracy are here too?" Matt nodded, eyes wide as always.

"What kind of trouble?" Claire asked.

"We got into a fight" Matt answered.

"A fight?"

"Yes a fight. A bloody battle that lasted for almost one hour."

"With who?"

"Something...evil" Matt whispered menacingly.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "It was a little girl named Grace and you wanted her candy."

"She had the last bit of floss!"

"We could have got more from another machine!"

"And be bested by a little girl?" Matt shook his head. "I think not."

"You tried to take her candy?" Claire asked, disgusted with her old friend.

Matt snapped his head to look at her. "Yes. But she was strong. Mark my words; there is something special about that child."

"There's something special about you..." Nathan mumbled to himself.

Mohinder turned to Claire and Hiro. "We have got to get out of here, there's a reason we don t hang around with these idiots anymore."

"Don't worry. I'm sure the company will do something to help us once they find out."

"No they won't" Nathan piped up, having 'accidently' overheard the conversation. "The company employees were arrested for mooning a bus full of old retired Nuns without remorse. The Haitian went crazy in Jail and began singing 'I'm so pretty' before being eventually being bludgeoned to death with a spatula."

"No we meant the family Company, like Mrs Petrelli or Ando." Hiro corrected.

"Our Family?" Nathan asked, now becoming confused. "They all ended up killing each other over the last slice of pepperoni pizza. Shameful thing was I stuck it down my trousers first anyway, so they would have got a nice dosage of MY Italian pepperoni had they reached the glorius slice."

There was a long pause as all the occupants of the cruddy holding cell stared at Nathan. Claire was the first to speak. "Italian pepperoni?"

Nathan looked at his biological daughter. "You heard me."

Just then the cell door opened and in stumbled Peter, Sylar, Elle, Niki, Noah and Tracy. All 11 cell mates paused to look at each other, all knowing what was coming.

Niki rolled her eyes. "Here we go..."

"Nathan"

"Pete"

"Parkman"

"Elle"

"Hiro"

"Sylar"

"Tracy"

"Suresh"

"Dad"

"Claire"

"Matt"

"Peter"

"Nathan"

"Elle"

"Suresh"

"Brain Man"

"Hiro"

"Bennet"

"Elle"

"Tracy"

"Mohinder"

"Peter"

"Sylar"

"Nathan"

"Matt"

"Tracy"

"Hiro"

"Elle"

"Nathan"

"Bennet"

"Sylar"

"Claire"

"Mohinder"

"Elle"

"Tracy"

"Hiro"

"Uncle Peter"

"Claire"

"Bennet"

"Suresh"

"Matt"

"Noah"

"Nathan"

"Tracy"

"Hiro"

"Peter"

"Elle"

"Claire"

"Parkman"

"Sylar"

All 10 cell mates took a breath, glad the greeting was over with. All except one.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Niki shrieked. All heads snapped towards her, puzzled.

Peter caught on the fastest. "Oh, yeah right. Uh hi Nik."

"Don t bother Peter! Just don't bother!"

"We need to get out of here" Matt voiced the concerns of the whole group.

"Do you think so Matt?" Nathan asked sarcastically, fed up with his idiotic companion. "Surely you realise that -"

"HIS NAME IS NOT SHIRLEY!" Noah yelled in Nathan's face, shocking the man into silence. Nathan stared at his daughters adoptive Father with his eyes wide and his mouth still open.

Sylar looked to Tracy. "How'd these guys get in here?"

"Matt attacked a six-year-old."

Mohinder rolled his eyes. "A supernaturally strong six-year-old..."

"A demon in child form." Matt whispered. "I must find this child and cleanse her of her sins." Peter put his arm round Hiro.

"You do that. In the meantime me and Hiro are gonna get us out of here."

Hiro looked a little afraid. "We are? But I thought we were not going to use our powers on this road trip?"

"Uh-huh. You're going to offer that officer over $1000 to get us out of here."

"But...but..."

"Hiro no-one gives a rat's ass about integrity anymore now just do it. If you don't, then I'm telling Sylar he can do whatever he wants to these prison guards."

Peter pushed poor Hiro up against the security bars of the cell to carry out his evil plot. Hiro swallowed nervously. It was now or never. He frowned suddenly in determination. Terror Schnitzel was going to have to save the day. Behind him Sylar, Tracy and Mohinder we're talking.

"So what did you lot do?" Tracy asked Sylar.

"Beat up a nurse. Suresh, what about you?"

"Claire caused a scene in the middle of the farm tent. Jumped on my back and Hiro wouldn't stop poking her in the face. Which reminds me." The curly geneticist turned slowly to Peter.

The Paramedic smirked an evil smirk. "Yes Mohinder?"

"My Epilogue. Where is it?"

"Flushed."

Mohinder's eyes widened. "Wh-what?"

"I flushed it down...down brown town."

"What happened to the Liquid Nitrogen idea?"

Peter shrugged. "Didn't have any. I improvised. I do that."

"You bastard." Mohinder mumbled at first. "You Bastard!" Mohinder yelled, shaking with rage.

"Don't make things worse for yourself Mohinder..."

"Worse!" Suresh's voice had taken an unbelievingly high tone. "How could you possibly..."

"Harry doesn't die and defeats Lord Voldemort, then goes on and marries Ginny Weasley. Oh and Ron and Hermoine get it on." Peter finished mercifully. Mohinder stared at him open mouthed, not believing his ears. "Did I mention Snape was really a good guy working for Dumbledore all along? And that Voldemort is inside Harry so he gets killed and brought back to life? No? Ah well..."

Sylar, Tracy and the recently joined Claire watched with horrified interest as Mohinder Suresh once again began shaking with rage. His teeth gritted, his white teeth shining as if freshly whitened, his fists clenching in fury. Claire swallowed apprehensively.

It had finally happened. After all these years.

Mohinder Suresh had finally completely lost it.

"I'm going to kill you...You pee brained...Abnormal...Freaky mouthed...Elle hustling...Mr Mommy issue...Son of a Scottish whore!" Peter ignited blue electric orbs in his hands, ready for a fight.

Hiro came bounding back from the front. "Great news guys! I got us all out of here!"

"Aww!" The other eight occupants, aside from Mohinder and Peter, sighed.

Niki kicked the ground. "Just when things were getting interesting round here."

The eleven occupants exited the holding cell grudgingly to meet outside the front. Elle turned to Noah.

"So, where will you guys go now?" The blonde asked.

"A brothel" The man with horn rimmed glasses answered blankly. Elle blinked. "What about you?"

"I don't know. We'll have to find somewhere to stay tonight first, then we'll probably figure it out."

"Alright, well I guess this is goodbye."

Elle smiled sadly. "For now."

Noah smiled back and reached in his pocket. "If you ever want some fun, give me a call" He gave her a card that had his phone number on it as well 'Bennet - The man with the plan'.

"Uh...ok. Noah, what is this?"

Noah winked at her. "Turn it over"

Elle turned the card over to reveal another statement saying "Do you have sweet buns? Then prepare yourself for 3 inches of fun. Be you Tracy, Niki, Elle or Angela, come on down to see the torturer.'

Noah bounced his eyebrows. "I'll be expecting you."

Elle watched along with Peter, Sylar, Claire, Niki, Hiro and Suresh as Noah, Nathan, Matt and Tracy walked off into the sunset...literally.

"What was that about?" Peter asked.

Elle stared at the card, still in shock as she answered. "I'm...not sure..."

"So where are we going tonight?" Mohinder asked Claire, of who shrugged.

"I don t know. Anyone got any ideas?"

Hiro raised his hand. "I may have a plan..."

"Damn it Hiro we're not slaughtering a pig and draining it's blood!" Claire yelled.

"Aww!"


	7. The House of Uncle Jed Part I

****

Wow people thank you all so much for your reviews. They really do make my day.

Disclaimer: I don't own heroes, but if the fans did it might still be on the air...

* * *

"Something tells me we're a little too South, you know?…"

The seven friends stood in front of an old house that stood at the very top of a bare and barren hill. Dead trees lined the thin, twisting pathway up to the first stone step of the dark veranda. Angry black clouds swirled around the very tops of the tallest tower. An omen of things to come most likely…

Peter gulped. "Are you sure this is the place?"

Hiro bit his lip before answering. "Yeah, my uncle Jed said we could stay here as long as we needed." He walked out of the line to face them all. "Okay, so it looks a little on the…Dracula way of things. But trust me, its fine on the inside. I mean, I did spend a lot of childhood summer holidays here safe and sound." Hiro looked thoughtful for a moment. "But then again that was before Aunt Fanny went crazy and chopped up bodies in the cellar…"

Mohinder's eyes widened in horror. "Well that's it then." He pulled his backpack onto one shoulder. "I'm spending the night, in the van. Who's with me?"

Claire and Sylar put their hands up. "Oh right here!"

"Great!" and with that the three of them turned and contently walked back to the van.

"It doesn't have heating!" Elle called after them.

Claire looked back "I'd rather be cold than stalked by the undead!"

"You have fun now," Sylar waved his hand frantically over his head.

Mohinder would have said something patronising, but he was already trying unsuccessfully to open the passenger door of the van.

The four remaining friends watched Mohinder push and pull with all his abilities might. Niki leaned over to Hiro. "Should we tell them we have the keys?"

"Nah." Elle said as she walked towards the house. "If they really want them they can fight off all the ghosts and ghouls for them."

Peter and Niki shrugged on their over night bags and trailed slowly behind Elle and Hiro. They never took their eyes off the gargoyles that apparently guarded the house. If they guarded the house or to stop potential victims from entering, they didn't know. Another omen it seemed.

Peter sighed. "This isn't going to end well."

Creak.

Creak.

"Hiro, these floorboards suck." Elle plonked her overnight bag on the couch in one of the two living rooms. Paintings that could only be described as creepy, hung along the tall walls.

Hiro walked around the large room aimlessly. "Yeah…You know I don't remember this place being so…"

"House on Haunted hill?" Elle finished for him.

Hiro halted beside the fire place. "Yeah…"

The song 'Holding out for a Hero' started to come from his pocket. But Hiro took little notice, keeping his eyes on the painting of Lord Daiki Nakamura of Ginger, one of Hiro's many eccentric ancestors.

Peter slumped into the couch next to Elles' stuff. "Hiro, your phone's ringing."

Jumping slightly, Hiro nodded to Peter and dug into his pocket. "Thank you." Putting the mobile up to his ear he motioned for the three guests to make themselves at home. "Hello?"

"Huggie-bear? It's your Uncle Jed."

Hiro rolled his eyes at the nickname. "Hey Uncle Jed."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Uncle Je-?"

"Boy!"

"WHO DAT!"

"Don't go rolling your eyes at me! Listen, and listen good…"

Hiro unconsciously leaned forward in an attempt to do as his eccentric uncle commanded. Elle and Peter glanced at each other. "Want to go explore?"

Peter shrugged. "Why not? Niki's already doing it." He pushed himself off of the velvet couch and walked out with Elle at his side. "Hiro we're gonna find our rooms."

Hiro just waved his hand for them to go, a worried expression on his face. Probably just another one of those omens.

God damn it.

In another part of the house, Niki flung herself onto the fluffy looking king sized bed only to bounce off of it and landing on the hard wooden floor. This room was hers for the night she had decided. With deep black curtains, violet walls and blood red carpeting it had a certain gothic feel to it. But she looked past that and looked on the bright side. As she picked herself up off the floor she realized she was having to do a lot of that lately…

She padded over to the window lazily. It had one heck of a view. Who knew a graveyard in the back lot looked less…dead in the afternoon sun?

Niki giggled. "People are just dying to get in." She whispered to herself. "It's the dead center of town…You might say it's a _lively_ place…"

"Aw, this house comes with fucking everything…"

Niki's ears twitched as she heard Elles' distinct sarcastic tone seep in through the thin walls.

"…And what's that Elle? Mint chocolates on your pillow case? No wait, little shampoo bottles that you can take home? No wait! A bar of soap to wash your sailor mouth out, I can smell your curses from here Elle. They smell like failure."

Niki poked her head around the door frame and saw Elle snooping in the room next to her chosen one, while Peter's gaze watched her intently.

"Oh, a funny Petrelli, who knew?…No, I was just saying that everything that we need is in this room. My room."

Elle gestured towards a kettle and mug. "And look captain funny, tea and coffee making facilities!" She threw up a small packet that was next to the white mug, catching it on its way down. Reading the label on the plastic, her love for the room grew instantly. She tossed it over to Peter. "Chocolaty goodness Pete. It even comes with chocolaty goodness."

"That's great Elle." Peter said dryly. His reaction to the chocolate cookies was not the one she had given. Walking past her he placed the cookie packet in its original spot. "Let's take a look at the size of the bathroom."

"Oh yes." Elle replied breathlessly, both her hands placed above her left breast. "You just take me where ever you want, you piece of man meat."

Peter stared at her. "I am not meat." He muttered. Elle wrapped her arm around his bicep, leading him into the tiled room. "Of course you're not Honey. You're a Chicken."

"Still meat Elle."

"…Is it?"

Niki laughed quietly at them. Those crazy kids. She moved back into her room, smiling. This place really wasn't so bad; in fact it was kinda nice, peaceful, not to mention quiet…

"AHHH!" A woman's scream shattered Niki's peace fantasy.

The young blonde woman jumped at the noise that had come from the room she had just finished spying on. Quickly, Niki ran to the room searching for the reason for the blood curdling scream. She hastily burst into the bathroom.

"What's-" THWACK "-Ow!"

As she had burst into the bathroom at the speed of sound, Niki hadn't noticed Elle opening the clear shower door…Right in front of her.

"Elle, for god sake there's no need to…" Peter turned and spotted Niki on the ground. "Oh hey Nik, what are doing on the floor?"

"Oh you know." She sarcastically laughed, while rubbing the sore spot on her head. "Just checking if my friends were getting murdered, what with the whole yelling thing in the dark, creepy house, it gives you ideas." She glanced at herself into the small mirror past Peter. "Ugh, I have to stop getting injured with you people."

Elle winced at the raw skin. "My bad. There was just this complimentary body soap in the shower. I yelped from excitement and Peter screamed like a scared little girl when he heard me." She shrugged.

"That was you?" Niki asked him shocked.

"I did not." Peter denied "I was just…shocked, that you of all people can act like a girl." He nodded to Niki. "Sorry."

Niki shook her head in exasperation and walked past a glaring Elle back into her bedroom.

"What was that supposed to mean?" Elle crossed her arms. "You don't think I can I act like a member of the female race?"

Peter gulped. He was trapped. "No, It's just-"

"You don't think I AM a member of the female race do you?" Her jaw clenched.

"WHAT!" His hands came up in a peace offering. "Elle, please, I think you're…You're…"

"I'm what?"

"Overreacting?"

"Ha, try again."

"Um, Attractive…?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Four letters for you Petrelli, D. E. A. D. Dead." Elle turned away from him, hiding her amused grin from her victim. "Men. Only want things to grope for their self pleasure."

Peter side stepped around her. "Hey-"

Before he could utter his complete denial on the topic Elle put one of her hands on his shoulder. "I'm kidding Pete, I know you way too well for this conversation to even continue. So there's no need to get defensive 'kay? Besides, we're a team and we're in this for the long haul." She smiled. "Inspirational moment over."

Going into the bedroom the pair met up with Niki and now Hiro, who had just walked in at the same time as them. His face was hard and just a little frightened. 'Not a good thing' the three thought as a collective.

Omens really do suck.

"Hey guys, I just got off the phone with Uncle Jed and I got some bad news about the house." He wiped some of the sweat forming on his forehead. "There seems to be an itty bitty little curse running around in one of the rooms."

Elle rolled her eyes. "Of course there is. Wouldn't be right if there wasn't something evil to defeat in your family."

Niki slowly put up a hand. "So, what you're saying is…?"

Hiro nodded sadly and locked eyes with her. "One of us will become an axe wielding psychopath before we leave. Most likely they're going to be taken over by some sort of supernatural entity. Come to think of it, it's probably going to be the same spirit that made my Aunt Fanny go a bit on the murderous side of life."

Three pairs of large, shocked eyes gawked at Hiro. But their host just gave them one of his encouraging thumbs up. "But let's not dwell on that now! It's only the first half of the chapter! And don't forget it's a vacation so who's hungry? Because I'm starved!"

**(10:30pm)**

Elle pulled back the silky black covers of her king sized bed. After eating micro waved lasagne with the others they had all retreated to their selected rooms. Tugging the bedding around her to keep warm, she couldn't help but sigh in content.

Boy, did she enjoy that tea and coffee making facility with the added chocolaty goodness. Deep down she knew bad dreams were most likely going to happen because of the sugar. But really, when did that ever stop her? Sighing again she closed her blue eyes and attempted to fall asleep.

**(11:45pm)**

Growls and Demonic tongues was the noise Peter woke up to. Rubbing his eyes he glanced at his wrist watch to check the time. He had only been asleep for little more than an hour. Blinking out the last of the glazed look in his brown eyes, he sat up trying to listen to the noise with his Extra special hearing he had absorbed from Sylar.

"No one can hear you scream when you're dead…UGHHHHH AHHHHHH GRRRRR AHAAAAAAAA!"

Peter rolled his eyes. Turning off his suddenly super ears, he put his fist to his forehead. That was Elles' voice. Three things went through his head at this realisation. 1) She was trying to scare him and the others. 2) Hiro wasn't kidding about the curse thing. 3) If it was the curse thing this would be Elle's one thousandth and forth time she had been involved with something evil.

First time this month though.

"I am the servant of evil, sworn enemy of all that is good and decent!"

Elle bowed his head as he rolled slowly out of bed. Taking his white shirt off his pile of clothing on the chair next to the door, he decided to check out what the heck was going on in this creepy house of Nakamura.

Louder growls and inhuman noises infiltrated his ear drums as he stopped in front of Elle's bedroom door. Suddenly the wooden door flung itself open and Peter found himself face to face with Elle…

"Elle…?"

Her glazed eyes never blinked in the minute she stared up at him. "No. Elle is dead. I am Emily. Emily Rose."

Or maybe it wasn't Elle.

"Time to die, Petie AHHHHAAAAAAA!"

Peter sighed tired. "God damn it."

**(Outside…15 minutes into the future)**

"Suresh it isn't going to open, give it up man! Sylar and I did and look, now we're playing Texas Hold 'em." Claire never took her eyes of her cards. Sure they were a two and four, but she could bluff. Sylar's face was blank before her, so he was probably bluffing as well. Claire scoffed inwardly. Banging went on in the background as Mohinder smashed a hammer against the van's metal door. She needed to concentrate; her new top was on the line along with Sylar's watch. But because of Mohinder's constant whining and scraping off van paint with various tools, it was bit difficult.

Sylar's eyes squinted up at Mohinder; he was fairing no better in this situation. "Mohinder, sit down and shut up. I got to win this and you're not helping."

"Yeah, what he said." Claire nodded over at her slick companion.

Mohinder finally sighed in defeat. He dropped the black crowbar he had just found to the ground and sighed again. "For four hours, I have been trying to get in this damn van…We should've gotten the keys off-"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The three friends collectively turned slowly towards the house from which the scream came from.

Mohinder nodded and pointed up to the highest window. "What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY? See, now they're all being killed off by scary evil demonic stuff. FOOLS!" He plonked down next to Claire and folded his arms over his chest in a huff.

"Are we going to help them?" Claire asked quietly.

Sylar shook his head. "Only if they get out here."

"What? Why?"

"Allow me Gabriel." Mohinder interrupted "Because Claire we, the three of us as a collective, are the final defence in this thing. The climax of this two shot chapter will only happen when all the characters are involved in the main story line, see?"

Claire blinked in surprise. "But you didn't want anything to do with this thing."

Mohinder smiled at her, patting her leg as if she was a child. "I also knew it was still going to happen, even if I did voice my opinion on the matter."

Another scream, sounding suspiciously like Niki, shifted in through the background of the conversation. Sylar looked back up at the black, cold house and whispered to himself.

"Those poor bastards never had a chance…"

**(Inside…In the present)**

Evil Elle stepped over an unconscious Peter. His crumpled form lay over the first step of the spiralling staircase leading up to the bedrooms. She gripped the suspiciously looming green vase in her hand tighter. Looking down at the young man, she gave a crooked smiled before lifting the vase above her head.

But as she swung down for the finale of Peter Petrelli's slightly upsetting life, she stopped. She spied the blood dripping down Peter's wound onto the wooden floor. Her head cocked at the sight. Suddenly she ripped her shirt and wrapped the fabric around his large cut.

'Funny.' Thought Emily Rose. 'I certainty did not do that. Man maybe I should lay off the hash'

She then once again swang the vase up and, ignoring the screaming from inside her, and smashed the glass down onto Peter.

"Pity…he was hot…AAAHHHHHHHAAAAAA!"

**To be continued...**

* * *

So what did ya think? Please please let me know. I should be able to update within the week.

The House of Uncle Jed (Part I)


	8. The House of Uncle Jed Part II

**Last time on Will and Grace:**

The gang ended up meeting a strange part of Hiro's past. Mohinder, Claire and Sylar decided to leave for the chapter, only to be thrown back in. While Peter, Elle, Niki and Hiro take their chances with the holiday house from hell. Some how they all miss vital clues that one of them will be taken over by the soul of Emily Rose.

It turned out to be Elle…

Of course.

And now it seems Peter is dead.

…While Hiro and Niki run for their lives.

Jesus, looking back on this, I'm a terrible person for doing this to such treasured characters. Some, I may add, have fan bases that would literally die to be covered in their spit.

But then again, the Heroes writers have done worse…

Infact all the characters look pretty good considering, hey? They should be like grey by now. Damn Claire has gotten hot don't you think? I would totally hit that.

**The House of Jed Part 2 – Holy Shit balls!**

Her sobs from her tired body came out in tiny explosions. Her legs pumped faster then they had ever before. She was running from something, what, she didn't know. Wait, no she did know but she pretended she didn't. It worked every other time.

Not so good intentioned sounds had come from the room next to hers. And she, having been through the Linderman and Shanti Virus sagas, went into survival mode AKA secret squirrel round up. She had done what her metamorphosis' name implied.

Niki had scurried for the hills.

(But really she just went to the staircase down the hall.)

Her petite form slid around the corner sharply. The woman may be dense, she may be blind, she may cling to any life form that moves in her vicinity; but deaf the woman was not. Niki had heard Peter trying to get through to Elle and to her better judgement. But by the sounds that followed his speaking, he had fallen down the spiral staircase. He was just lucky that he had Claire's ability to heal.

You see Peter had gotten his ability back to absorb more than one power at a time thanks to small secret experiment his mother had performed on him only last year using radiation, trying to see if this experiment could make the male species perform better in bed. Though that did sound a bit like a sick sexual version of the incredible hulk, Niki knew it to be true. Peter was very conscious of this and fiercely embarrassed by it, and had only told her and Mohinder…and Claire and Sylar whilst he was drunk one night. So he could recover quickly even if he did fall down the stairs.

'Or he was pushed' Was Niki's brilliant after thought.

So now running from a crazed Evil Elle, who could be anywhere in the house, Niki whimpered. So far this trip sucked. Major ass.

She had lost count how many times her face had been deformed in some way. She had lost count how many times she had been embarrassed and humiliated. And now their best hope was apparently dead. Killed by his (possessed) best friend/Love interest.

With her thoughts becoming more muddled, her eyes closed. It had been a new and often used reflex of hers. Close your eyes and the world will be sparkling with bright suns and charming bunnies. Oh, and diamonds really were a girl's best friend.

Unfortunately in the real world it meant you had no idea where you were going, because heck, your eyes were closed. Niki's feet tripped over the bunched up rug in the middle of the hall. Her body curled ungracefully in the air like some uncivilized Gymnast, and landed with a thud into a cold room she had not found before.

Niki sighed as her face was squished into the cool cement beneath her. The face was scrapped, she could feel it rubbing raw. Niki's jaw clenched and her eyes closed once more.

Inhale…Exhale….Inhale…

"AAAHHHHH, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Niki screamed "My FACE! Again with the face! And it's BLEEDING, damn it!"

**BANG!**

She jumped and twisted herself to look at the door she had fallen through. Open no longer it was, the yoda voice in her head told her. Quickly she picked herself up and tried to turn the doorknob.

Nothing.

She jiggled it again.

Nothing.

She scrapped her nails at the steel.

Nothing.

She banged on the door with all her secret squirrel might.

Nothing.

A cruel voice came seeping in from the other side. "Have fun in the cellar Princess, AAHHHAAA! Say hi to Hiro's Aunt Fanny for me." And just like that Evil Elle was gone.

And Niki was left in the locked cellar. The cellar in which Hiro's Aunt Fanny took her victims before she killed them with a butchers knife. Niki slid down the steel door pathetically.

"Well…Shit." Biting her lip, she inhaled again. "HIRO!"

* * *

"Guys did you hear that?" Mohinder asked. "God damn it! See I said they were going to get murdered, but nooo, don't listen to the guy who doesn't want to go into the murdering Dracula house… Man I said, NAY I STATED, that I would not be in the scary chapter. Look where I am: The scary chapter!"

Sylar smirked. "Ah, chill Mohinder. You only did that in the deleted scene, so it doesn't count. Remember the storyline handbook you got? Go fish."

Claire picked up a card, before shuffling it in with her others. "Who do you think went crazy this time?"

Sylar shrugged, not caring. "Meh got me. Got a 6?"

"Damn." Claire passed her the card. "I think it's Peter. Really, it was only a matter of time before my uncle snapped. Do you have a king?"

"Here. No way, it's got to be Elle. My girl has been begging to do the crazy dance since the good old company days. Please have a 7."

"Sorry, Go fish." Claire smirked.

Sylar gave her a look "Ha, You're so lying."

Claire smiled cheekily. "You're right I am."

Mohinder rolled his eyes. "Get a room."

"You're not related to me are you?" Claire suddenly asked her worthy opponent.

Sylar raised an eyebrow. "...No. Why?"

"Oh no reason." Claire trailed off suspiciously.

*****FLASHBACK*****

Claire and Peter stared horrified at a smiling Nathan, who was looking at them with tears of happiness in his eyes. He had just revealed to them that they were in fact Uncle and Niece. He, Nathan Petrelli, was a saint in human flesh. Rather sexy flesh...

"Well come on then! Hug! You're family!" Nathan chimed. Maybe today was the day he would finally initiate a group hug. That would be killer.

Claire and Peter shared a look. Peter cleared his throat. "You know I'd really rather we didn't."

"Oh pish posh. Let's share this moment as one big happy love filled-"

"We get it, thanks." Claire interrupted.

"Come on Claire. You're always saying how much you love Peter. Banging on about his handsome smile and passionate eyes and the way he makes you feel all tingly."

Peter put a hand to his mouth to stop the dry heave that was sure to follow.

Claire firmly closed her eyes. "Oh dear God please stop."

"What's the problem?" Nathan asked confused. "Peter's no better. He told me not yesterday how rockin' your body was, so don't be embarrassed."

"For the love of God Nathan shut up!" Peter yelled.

"...I banged Simone."

"What!"

"I said I don't want to be alone. Look I have to get to one of my political meetings so can you lock up when you're done? Sorry about the power cut but there's a lot of candles so just light them if you need to once the sun has finished setting...erm...you can pass the time by talking or if you like you can watch all of Heidi's romantic comedies on my portable DVD player. Those are the only ones we have though, but good news it also plays C.D's but we only have Barry White. Anyway see ya, family."

And with that Nathan Petrelli bounded out of the front door with a song in his heart and bounce in his step, whistling the theme to Peter and the wolf.

Peter and Claire could only stare at the door, unable to move or speak. Finally Claire spoke. "God damn it can't I have one normal family?"

"There is a bright side to this." Peter spoke up positively.

"Enlighten me Peter."

"At least now we know what to do with the baby."

*****END FLASHBACK*****

Claire looked determinedly off into the distance. "Never again."

Sylar and Mohinder only stared at her confused.

* * *

Hiro glanced around the corner of the kitchen. He needed a weapon, like a baseball bat or a golf club or a…

"Spatula!" He picked it up and looked at it thoughtfully. He then shook his head with a frown. "Nah" He tossed it over his shoulder and continued looking through the many utensils in the kitchen.

"Why is there a lawnmower in here?"

"HIRO!"

He twisted his head. "Hello?" He whispered.

"HIRO I'M LOCKED IN THE CELLAR!"

Hiro looked spooked. "Aunt Fanny…?"

"HIRO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

His eyes hardened. "That is not Aunty Fanny." He sighed and began pacing. "What do I do? Someone could be dying in there. But then again it could be a trap. But then again someone could be dying down there." He sighed again. "What would Jesus do?"

Stopping and nodding, he picked up the nearest thing in his line of vision and ran out quietly towards the cellar.

Stepping carefully Hiro made sure to not make the floor boards creak under his weight. He already knew Elle was gone. She had chosen room 666 after all. Thinking about it now he really should've told her about that picky number. Slowing his pace as he came closer to the cellar door, he gripped the object in his hands harder. Either Aunt Fanny's soul was in there, Evil Elle was in there or some random person…maybe even a kitten.

Hiro was kinda hoping for the kitten.

Slowly he reached out to the door knob with a shaky hand. He gulped once, twice and placed his hand onto the cool metal. Tears started to go down his cheeks. "Who am I kidding? Jesus would've run out to the van."

Turning the knob carefully, he flung open the door…

"AHHH!"

"AHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHH- Wait, Hiro what are you screaming at?" Niki asked cautiously.

Breathing hard, he wiped his tears away. "Your hair it's just awful! Wait, what were YOU screaming at?" he shot back.

Niki rolled her eyes. "Hiro, I thought you were Elle. You were holding a damn knife towards my throat!" She pointed to the object Hiro had picked up from the kitchen…and was still currently holding to her throat.

He looked at it and then back at her, then back to the knife. Dropping his arm he smiled sheepishly. "My bad. But I thought you were Elle as well. I had to be careful."

Niki walked pass him to get into the hallway. "Oh, that's what you were really screaming at." She started to slowly walk away from the cellar.

Hiro followed her carefully. "No." He whispered. "I was screaming 'Cos you look like Freddy Kruger with your hair and face scrapped like that."

Niki glared at him. "Gee thanks Hiro."

"No Prob- Niki what's that?" Hiro nodded over to something on the floor a bit away from them.

Niki squinted at the dark figure. "I don't know. Listen, you keep a look out, I'll go check it out."

Hiro nodded. "But I keep the knife."

Niki nodded back. "It's ok, I know some sort of kung fu. Just don't ask me to name it."

Hiro's eyes widened. "Really? What's it called?"

Niki sent a look over her shoulder at him. Hiro sighed. "Right. You don't know. Just thought it was a little strange is all."

Creeping over to the silent figure on the floor Niki gasped, once she had rolled it over. "Oh my God." She locked gazes with Hiro. "It's Peter, I think he's dead."

Inhale…Exhale…

Inhale…Exhale…

Inhale…

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"HO-HOLY SHIT BALLS!"

* * *

"Come on, as if you didn't hear that one!" Mohinder begged the other two.

Sighing Sylar got up. "He's right; I can't concentrate with all that going on in the background anyway."

Claire did likewise. "I guess this is the bit in the chapter where we three defeat the Evil one."

Walking around to the boot of the van Claire started to pull out different parts of strange looking equipment.

Mohinder gave her a double look. "Hey, how'd you open the van?" he asked incredulously.

Claire gave a single 'Ha'. "Mohinder, the boot doesn't have a lock, and yes you could've climbed through it to get into the back seat to snuggle with Schnitzel."

Mohinder looked at her blankly. "You mean I…This whole time…I…It…"

Sylar walked from behind him and placed a soft hand onto his shoulder. "It's ok." He said softly. "You didn't know."

Claire stepped towards them. Strapped around her was what looked to be an exact replica of the Ghostbuster's guns. Next to her were two more for Sylar and Mohinder. "Who's ready to kick some crazy ass!"

Mohinder, who's disappointment vanished upon seeing the guns, squealed. "Oh, I do!"

Sylar pulled the vacuum-like machine onto his back. "Hey, these things are light. Who knew?"

Mohinder turned to Claire. "Not that I don't think these are super-duper-OMG-awesome or anything, but why do you have these?"

"Because Mohinder, if there's one thing I've learnt from living in constant fear it's this: Always be prepared!"

Sylar stood to one side of Claire. "Yeah, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Mohinder also took his rightful place on Claire's other side, completing their holy trinity. Abruptly the sound of a dying man broke the moment. Mohinder smiled over at his 'team mates'. "Hey, the gun has a radio!" His smile turned into a frown instantly. "And it's George Michael…NOOOOO!"

With a crooked smile and a gleam in her eyes, Evil Elle watched the three tinker with their weapons. 'Oh this is going to be delicious' She thought. She flew up into the air and cackled loudly "So!" She screamed at them "You think you can defeat me? With cleaning equipment no less, FOOLS!"

The 'Holy' Trinity stood unfaltering in front of their enemy. Mohinder bit his lip and leaned over to Claire. "Say can Elle do that normally?"

Claire rolled her eyes. "No Mohinder, she can't fly normally" She said dryly.

"Cos' that's so kick ass." Mohinder approved.

Sylar smacked him on the arm. "Hey! I can do loads of cool things!"

Mohinder shrugged. "Yeah, but it's just not the same. You can't fly."

Sylar pouted. "Jerk." He muttered.

"Um guys can we get back to, you know, getting the evil soul out of Elle? Yeah thanks." Claire said over her shoulder.

By the time the three of them had looked back at their enemy, Evil Elle had crossed her arms over her chest and started counting the stars that could be seen through the dark clouds. "Um, we're finished now…" Claire called up.

Evil Elle looked down. "Huh? Oh right sorry...Wait no you're not! You don't have your trusty vacuums on idiots! AHHHAAAA!" Suddenly she flew up higher, did a U-turn and became a possessed human missile.

"Claire, how DO you turn them on?" Sylar hissed in panic.

"I, uh, I don't know." Claire whispered back.

"WHAT?"

Mohinder licked his lips as he pressed random buttons. "Hey I got something!"

Claire and Sylar looked hopefully at Mohinder as Evil Elle was a foot away from them.

"_Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This yeeeeaaaaar to save me from teeeaaars, I'll give to someone special_…"

"AAAAHHHHHHAAAAAA! NOOOOO! George Michael!" Evil Elle shrieked in pain. She dropped to the ground and withered in the dirt.

"Mohinder you did it!" Claire hugged him, while Sylar gave him a hi-five. "Turn it up louder!"

"NOOOO!" Elle began to glow and shake violently. The light got to a point where she became too bright for their eyes and the three had to shield themselves from the harshness.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Elles' scream shook the trees around them making the crows nesting to fly off.

**BOOM!**

The force of Emily Rose rejecting Elle's body made the others soar into the air and land at the foot of the van. Hard.

And then all was quiet.

"Are you guys okay?" Claire asked gingerly.

"Yeah...Just Swell" Sylar muttered sitting up slowly

"I believe so, when I can get up without wincing" Mohinder said.

Claire smiled. "I think your fine Mohinder" She looked over to Elle's un-moving form. "Elle!" She ran shakily over to her. "Elle are you alright?"

"C-Claire?"

"Yeah?" Claire slowly pulled Elle up.

"Did you get the number plate of that truck?" Elle asked as she rubbed her neck.

Claire laughed loudly and hugged her friend tightly. "Sorry. I was too busy trying to stop a possessed friend of mine from dive bombing us."

"What a bitch, huh?" Elle smirked.

"Do you remember much?" Sylar asked as he and Mohinder walked over to the hugging duo.

"Only a little. Did I really fly?"

Mohinder punched the air. "Oh hell yes!"

Elle smiled thoughtfully, then; "Kick ass."

"GUYS!" Niki and Hiro come over to the four with Peter wrapped around their shoulders.

"Oh God, Peter? What have I done?" Elle asked as she helped them with their burden. "We need to get him to a hospital."

"No." Sylar said, taking Peter off of Hiro's shoulder. "We need the...erm..coco."

Elle looked at him. "Did I hit you hard on the head too? Why would he need coco and not a hospital?"

Mohinder, Claire, Sylar and Niki looked at one another. All knowing they could not reveal Peter had all his powers back, and burst out with answers at the same time.

"Photosynthesis"

"The heat will help."

"Just 'Cos Elle"

"It's pretty?"

They stopped and looked at each other again.

"Trust me Elle'"

"Coco beans are nice this time of year. It'd be good for him."

"Elle, Peter is like a flower…"

"Heat + Wounds = Happy Petie."

Hiro and Elle dryly looked at the four making excuses. Hiro leaned over to whisper to Elle. "You must've really messed them up."

"Whatever, we're taking him SOMEWHERE! Or he's gonna die people!"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Ka-BANG.

"I said it once, I say it again: This van sucks. Oh, and Hiro stop beeping the horn!" Mohinder complained.

The trusty mustard coloured van with no heating finally drove out from under the deep black and gray clouds. The sun poured into the windows of the vehicle. Hiro was once again driving cheerfully to the music inside his head. Claire, who was next to him, made a giant 'X' onto the map.

"Never going there again. Ever." She mumbled.

In the middle seats Niki was talking to Mohinder and Sylar. It seemed that Sylar gave Niki some credit for knowing kung-fu (Though Unknown).

Elle leaned over from the back. "Does this mean you actually like Niki now?" She asked Sylar quietly, smirking.

Sylar smirked as well. "Oh, hell no!" And turned back to pretend to listen to Mohinder.

Elle smiled and eased herself back into her seat. She looked over at the person next to her. Peter was busy munching down on a burger the size of both his hands whilst looking at his laptop. He boyishly grinned at her before taking another bite.

She shook her head good naturedly, before something occurred to her. "Hey Peter?"

Peter gulped down his food. "Yes Elle?"

"Didn't I kinda kill you? Or at least injure you critically?"

Peter shook his head. "Oh no, see I haven't been technically in the story since the bathroom scene with you and Niki last chapter." He took another bite.

The group turned to look at him. Hiro glanced at him via the rear view mirror. "What?" Claire asked.

"Yeah." Peter answered with half his mouth full. "The person who did the whole sausage roll down the spiral staircase was Dave, my stunt double." He licked his fingers, finishing his burger. "Poor guy. See I went out to get some Pizza for us all and by the time I'd ordered I realised I wouldn't have made it back in time. So I called Dave to do it for me. Man he got to do the roll and everything!"

"But the guy died!" Mohinder told Peter.

"No" Peter smiled. "He's alright" But it dimmed "At least I think he is."

Elle laughed at him before slapping him playfully in the arm. "You are such a dork. You skipped out on us for Pizza!"

Peter smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey guys." Claire called "Who wants to go to the Mall of America OR a little R&R at a place with a brothel next?"

The group then collectively went: "Um…"

"Hey didn't Bennett, Nathan, Matt and Tracy go to a Brothel?"


	9. Out of The Frying Pan, Into The Brothel

**Chapter 10:** Out of the frying pan, Into the Brothel.

"Hey Elle, guess what?"

"What Hiro?"

"I'm hungry."

"Yes Hiro, just like you've said for every minute for over an hour."

"Ohhh, so that's why we're in the waiting line at Burger King. We're waiting for food!"

Elle just closed her eyes. Sometimes she swore he did this just to mock her sanity. And every time he did, she was closer to losing it.

Every time.

Losing it.

The line moved forward slowly due to the lunch time rush. In the line next to them stood a mother and her two children, complaining how hungry they were. The woman desperately was trying to play moderator to the loudness that were her own flesh and blood. Yeah, Elle thought, see she could relate to that poor woman, whose face crumpled at the constant whining.

She felt, rather than saw, Hiro creep into her personal space. His mouth carefully grazed her ear. Hello! This was new. Maybe Hiro _wasn't_ always thinking with just his stomach.

"Elle." He whispered huskily. "Just letting you know in case you'd forgotten, I'm hungry, because you were looking awful intent like at those kids and, well, you know…" Moving away from her shoulder he gave her a thumbs up and a goofy smile. "I could do that for you."

Someday…She was going to lose it.

"Next please."

"Oh thank GOD!" Hiro leapt up to the front counter and requested the groups order. "Okay let's see, I want one Triple Whopper…With cheese, three Angus Steak Burgers, one Double cheese burger…That's with cheese right?"

The kid serving them gave him a strange look "…Yes"

Hiro smiled as he continued. "Good, good and I would also like an original Chicken Sandwich…They're always good. Six large Fries and three large onion rings. Oh! Elle, Elle can I have a Shake? Please? Please? Elle? Please? Elle, please? Please? Please Elle? Please?"

"No"

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. "Awwwwwwwwww…"

"Hiro just pay for it all with the Credit card and let's get out of here. I've got other hungry people on my schedule too you know." Glancing out the window she was certain she saw Sylar and Peter wrestling in the garden.

"Fine." Hiro grumbled, patting his pockets. "But I don't seem to have it."

Elle gave him a look. "Hiro it's _your_ credit card. You had it last."

"Did I? Cos' I don't think I did."

"Hiro…You had it when we were at the fair."

The man in question suddenly acquired a faraway look in his eye. "Oh…"

**(County fair)**

"My God! Bill…Hey, hey Bill! You better come here and take a look at your pig…"

Bill walked over to his yelling friend. "What about big old Luck-…JESUS!" He scanned around the tent furiously. "Why in the HELL, does my pig have a credit card up…It's…ASS!"

**(Back at Burger King)**

Hiro looked down at his fingers guiltily. "Well, I have no idea where it is."

The kid serving them cleared his throat. "Um, are you gonna pay for all this or not?"

* * *

"…So now we don't have any money." Elle concluded

"Well, yay." Sylar slapped Hiro round the head.

"Hey! What was that for?" He muttered, rubbing his head.

"That was for losing the money you moron. You wouldn't see me losing the money if I was allowed to borrow it."

Peter spoke up and smiled. "And by borrowed, he means stolen."

Sylar frowned over at him. "Nu-uh, I mean that I would borrow it, as in he would know I've got it."

Peter smirked. "Oh yeah because you've always been about the honesty and not the head slashing." From the sudden look on Sylar's face, he knew he'd got him.

He sighed. "You say Potato; I say French Fries."

Suresh slumped to the ground next to them. "Well now what do we do? Go home?"

Elle gave him a look of pure horror. "No Mohinder. We do not go home. We do not call home. We do not even _think_ of home. No Mohinder, we deal with the situation. With little, to no thought… Of home. Understand?"

"And just how do we do that?" Niki asked, blue eyes gazing suspiciously.

"Do what?"

"Get money without going home or asking for help."

Elle bit her lip. "I…Don't know. But give me a few and I'll guess something'll be figured out."

"Well." Niki sighed "As long as nothing happens to my face, I'm fine with whatever we do." With that, she stretched up and leaned her head on Suresh's shoulder. "Hey, you have comfy shoulders Suresh!"

Suresh raised his head high. "Oh, don't I just!"

"Wait, why don't we all get jobs? Yeah, it'll be fun." Peter suggested.

Sylar scoffed "No way Petrelli. I don't care if it has been a crappy holiday-"

"Hey!" Elle and Hiro exclaimed

"- it's still a holiday. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you go looking for work experience while you're on a holiday."

Peter crossed his arms, unconsciously mirroring Sylar' own stance. "Well excuse _me_ if I'm wrong, but you don't get paid to do work experience Sylar. That's why we're looking for a job. You know, where you get money for what you do."

Sylar opened his mouth to counter his claim, but Hiro got there first. "Oh, you mean like being a volunteer? Man, I would love to be a volunteer fireman."

"Uh, that's not what I meant Hiro." Peter said softly

Hiro look crestfallen "Oh. So I can't be a volunteer fireman?"

"No, no, you can be whatever you want. Just, you won't get paid for it. Understand Hiro?" Peter asked. The shorter man nodded slowly. "So it won't help in our situation."

"So I can do it when we get back home?"

Peter smiled "Yep. Hey, I'll even drive you to get signed up."

Hiro pumped a fist. "Yes! Free ride!"

"Can't you teleport?" Niki brought up.

"I want to wash trains." Suresh announced. He looked pleadingly up at Sylar. "Can we wash trains?"

Sylar cocked an eyebrow at the sitting man by his feet. He crouched down to his eye level. "No Mohinder."

"What? Why not?" Suresh whined

"Because…do you see a train station around here?"

Suresh looked around and shook his head. Sylar continued "Do you see any train tracks?" He shook his head no. "Did you see anything resembling anything to do with trains when we drove in?" Another shake. He gave him a nod and stood back up. "And that Mohinder, that is why we can't wash trains for money."

"Ah, of course." He nodded finally. "But, what about buses?"

"What about being an astronaut? That could give us some great cash." Elle muttered.

Sylar rounded on his blonde friend. "An astronaut?"

"Well yeah, Peter looks healthy enough to be a space traveller."

Peter smirked "I do fifty stomach crunches every morning. My abs are positively ripple worthy," He winked at Elle.

"What am I, the sane one? The serial killer is the only sane one?" Sylar sighed. "Elle-"

The blonde put up a hand, stopping her slick friend. "I know, I know, nowhere near NASA… But you have to admit, good money."

"How about a lawyer?" Niki suggested. "That makes money and I bet I would be good at it…" She trailed off thinking.

**(In another part of Niki's brain)**

"Your honour." Niki, in her most sophisticated suit stood pointing at her client. Her blue eyes blazing as she sought out to defend the truth from secrets and lies. "It is clear that my client, Miss Hart is innocent… For God SAKE MAN… The woman is wearing pink! She has to be innocent."

The judge nodded in silent approval. "I agree Ms. Sanders, you've supported your client with one of the best defences I've ever come across, and I've been doing this for more than fifteen years. Miss Hart I find you not guilty. Now give that woman a gun for heavens sake!"

**(In the real world)**

Niki sighed contently. "Yeah, another win for team Niki."

All occupants of the group watched her, an embarrassed silence making itself known through each passing moment. Peter cleared his throat loudly in an attempt to break it. "And as we move away from the awkwardness that is Niki. I have an idea as well."

"Good, cos' you're the practical one here Petrelli, shoot." Sylar smiled.

Peter grinned at them. "Two words guys: Ninja Pirate."

Sylars' grin dropped faster than a stone thrown from a 5th floor window. "What?"

Hiro nodded, mistaking Sylars' question as curiosity. "Yeah, what's a Ninja Pirate?"

Peter draped one of his arms around Hiro's shoulders. "Well Hiro, a Ninja Pirate is kinda like…You watch cartoons right?"

"Oh yeah, all the time, can't get enough of them."

Elle pursed her lips. "Trust me Peter, it's the truth."

"Nick tunes?" Peter asked genuinely interested.

Hiro nodded vigorously. "All kinds."

"Great! Well a Ninja Pirate is kinda like CatDog." He leaned forward slightly, Hiro following intently, hanging off every word. "See, you can do secret Ninja stuff, but with guns, ships and the seven seas included."

Peter stood up straight and smiled at Hiro, who gleefully looked back in awe.

"I want to be a Ninja Pirate!"

Sylar rolled his eyes. "No one is going to be a Ninja or a Pirate, you got that." He quickly faced the group. "Please tell me you're all possessed and that what you just suggested we do for money was _not_ an idea formed in your own normal state of mind."

Suresh sniffed at him. "Well jeez, I didn't hear _you_ giving out suggestions Sylar."

"That's cos' you didn't ask me, and before anyone does: Yes, I do have an idea and it's a whole lot more realistic than all of yours combined." He stated confidently.

"Fine." Elle huffed. "What's your miracle money making job that's better than being a part of NASA then, huh?"

With a tilt of his head, Sylar opened his mouth…

"I found a job!"

For a moment Sylar looked confused. "That's not my voice." He looked down at his hands. "At least, I don't think that's my voice." He stared at Peter. "Was that my voice?"

"I would say no." He replied in amusement.

"Good."

Claire came jogging up to the group. "Hey, I found us all jobs."

Peter glanced around. "Hey yourself, where have you been?"

"You mean you all didn't notice I was gone?" Claire asked incredulously.

There was silence and then six guilt ridden heads shook 'no'. Claire rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't. No, no please don't mind the youngest of the group. I mean I was just gone for how long? And no one notices, not even my own flesh and blood…For shame Uncle, for shame." Peter winced from the guilt boiling in his chest.

"I'm sorry…" Peter started out.

"NO!" They all yelled.

"No more brooding please. Peter, I love you, but we're on holiday." Elle whimpered. Peter looked taken back, but stopped none the less. Elle turned to Claire. "How'd you know we had money troubles?"

Claire shrugged absent minded. "I overheard you. So I went and got us all some jobs at this local establishment… You can all thank me later when we have money and near a good clothes store with clothes in my size."

* * *

"Yes, thank you Claire. Thank you very much. You got us all jobs at the local BROTHEL!" Sylar steamed. "A Petrelli strikes again!"

Elle gave Sylar a shocked gaze. "Hey! Brothel forward slash bar thank you. I have standards."

Sylar sneered at her. "Oh, my mistake"

"It's not so bad Sylar." Niki soothed.

"Not so bad… Niki, look at me!"

The two women looked Sylar up and down. His fit body was clad in a tightly done up leather Jacket. A tiny pair of red shorts attempted to cover the top of his long unusually hairy legs. Biker boots completed the outfit of a hard worker at the brothel.

"Oh Sylar, look at you all grown up, while the rest of us girls are dressed in maid outfits: The skank addition." Elle teased.

"Well apparently they were out of my size." Sylar replied through clenched teeth. "Why do I always end up in these situations with you people?"

Elle shrugged. "I dare not question the powers of the beyond."

"Oh, have a cry Sylar." Came a voice from the shadows that cast the furthest wall in darkness.

"Yeah!" Came two more voices in disgust.

"At least you get covered up. At least you don't have to walk around like a piece of meat. At least you're not 'styled up' like us!"

"Please…" Sylar scoffed.

The three men walked into the light of the room. "Look at you? Look at us!"

There standing in front of the ladies and Sylar were Peter, Hiro and Suresh clad in the shortest gold sparkling shorts to have walked on the face of the earth. Sylar, Claire and Niki stood opposite the uncomfortable men with dangerous smirks on each of their faces.

Niki slowly walked up to Suresh and squinted at the object around his neck. "Well, they do have a point. They have to wear wittle bow ties, with wittle gold stars on them." Sylar and Claire laughed at the look on the guys faces.

"…Shut up." Hiro pouted.

"Yeah, do you have any idea where we dudes have to go?" Questioned Suresh.

The girl's and Sylar's smiles just got wider at the many scenarios running through their minds. Peter frowned, annoyed. "At least you get to entertain the opposite sex…If you catch my drift."

Hiro scrunched his eyebrows together. "Not really…Oh wait, now I do! Hmm…Wait…Oh…Yeah, I do. Aw man."

**(In another part of the Brothel)**

"They wanted jobs, I got them jobs. But apparently they aren't good enough. Humph, so I thought the place was just a bar. Shoot me down for trying to be helpful." Claire, in all her maiden glory, slowly explored the hallway in which she walked down. She guessed that the standard visitor normally didn't get to see this area of the building. It was dark, rusty and smelled of- "Hair?" Claire bent down and picked up a tiny strand of dark brown hair.

"Hmm, that's weird. It's like I was meant to see this to forward the overall plot of the story." She glanced around herself. "And now I'm getting the urge to explore these new circumstances to continue this forwarding. Curious."

Putting her head to the wall, she listened for any sign of trouble.

"87 little Ando's on the wall, 87 little Ando's."

Nathan throws one down because he's pissed off at Ando,

"86 little Ando's on the wall."

"Dude, your humour: it's not very good and is not helping."

"Not helping…? Ando, you were the one who got us into this, what would you call getting yourself and a team mate tied up in a random Brothel? A mess? No…"

"Hey, I said I was sorry. How was I to know not to touch the blue button?"

"Because it's a button you've never seen, let alone touched before. You just don't do it man."

"In my defence, normally those ones are red. It was blue…Blue, the colour of the ocean."

"You need to shut up."

"I hate you."

"Yeah well, I hate you more."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh. Man, I don't think I'll be able to look Bennett in the eyes when he and Parkman find us."

"Meh, deal with it. I am."

"I'll deal with _you_ in a minute Mr wow my power does bugger all! I have a chunk…A chunk! Of my shorts missing!"

Claire looked at the wall where the voices came from. She tried to see if the two men behind the voices were really being held captive, but the wall was conveniently lined with stuff you couldn't see through such as bricks. "Ok, don't want to do a Niki and smash into a wall. So, where's that random blue button…"

* * *

A silent, shadowy figure quietly crept through the slightly opened window. Long blonde hair faintly grazed the edge of its frame work, followed by a woman with short dark hair. Landing gracefully from the short drop, they slowly stood to an upright position and gazed at the room surrounding them. A huff of exasperation slipped from their lips.

"You leave to do the grocery shopping for an hour and they're all kidnapped…Heroes my ass." They started forward, carefully picking out their route to walk. "'Oh no, you go right ahead and do your 'womanly' duties, we've got it all under control…' Please."

Slipping out from the room Tracy Strauss scoped out the dirty hallway and turned to Angela Petrelli. "I'll kill them all."

* * *

Hiro sighed in frustration. "Guys, nothing's happening to us." Five other heads nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we just have to wait." Suresh suggested.

Niki gave him a look. "Wait for what?"

The others suddenly gained a faraway look in their eyes and collectively sighed as one.

"A sign…"

* * *

Horn rimmed glasses and a detective.

Meshed together.

Actually pretty sexy.

Matt smiled and nodded to himself. "You know, we look really good together if I do say so myself. Like two characters from a crap crime drama."

"What! Matt we're tied up together, basically swinging around in the air, the other half of our group is missing and all you can think about is how well we look together!" Bennett semi-yelled.

With their arms tied up above their heads, Matt struggled to shrug his shoulders. But the message was sent and Bennett rolls his eyes.

"Yo, it's not like I asked for us to be tied up together and hung from the ceiling." Matt reasoned. And that was just what the two of them were doing, hanging together by their wrists from the roof. "Hey, how lucky is it that the bad guys don't have sharks or something swimming under us?"

"Yeah Parkman, we sure are lucky." Bennett grimaced with his sarcasm. He glanced around the room quickly. "Alright, I've had enough. We're getting out of here. Parkman we need to swing, maybe we can weaken the bolts holding us on the roof."

"Yeah, we could do that. Or we could swing so I could hit that red button." Matt smirked over his shoulder. "It would be easier."

"And when were you going to tell me about the button?" Bennett asked

"When you asked if I had any ideas, my little gherkin. You know like in the comics. Two heroes are trapped and one can't see a way out. So they desperately turn to their comrade and ask 'Do you see any hope for us?' and then the comrade says-"

Bennett kicked him behind the knee. "Just swing Matt!"

"Swinging now."

Moving the combined weight of the two heroes right and left, they managed to get Matt's left foot near enough to the red button on a giant computer that Bennett somehow missed. As Matt's boot connected with the knob, their cuffs suddenly retracted and the men fell to the floor with a yell of surprise.

Bennett gingerly messaged his wrists as he ran to the door. "Come on, let's go find the others."

Matt picked himself up and dusted off his clothes. "You better hope your lady friend is still shopping Noah."

Bennett turned to face him. "Why is that Mathew?"

He tapped Bennett's suit clad shoulder in sympathy. "Cos' she's gonna be _pissed_ at you for not letting her come. You'll be straight in the dog house."

"Yeah." Bennett whispered. "…I know. Cross fingers."

* * *

"That's it!" Peter stood up suddenly, his fingers crossed. "The signal, the sign… We gotta go."

The five others spread around him making the perfect line. He turned to his right and bumped fists with Sylar. Then staring forward, he took a confident step self-assured…

"Hey, whoa." Sylar interrupted.

Peter's shoulders fell. "Sy-lar." He whinged "Come on! My big moment!"

"Deal Petrelli, cos' you've miss placed Claire again." Sylar smiled before getting a serious look. "Your own niece Petrelli, your own flesh and blood… For shame, Peter, for shame. You see me misplacing mine?"

"You don't have a niece," Peter frowned.

"Irrelevant."

* * *

"So you're Nathan's bio daughter?"

"Yep."

"Yeah Ando, can't you tell, she and I have the same jaw line."

Claire grimaced. "Um…Thank you?"

After walking around in what seemed liked circles with the odd couple, Claire was ready to go home now. With or without the others. She didn't care if there was a point to Elle's vain attempt to get everyone out on the road. She didn't care if Niki thought Australia was in driving distance from Kansas.

But what she did care about was getting the hell out of there (and of course if the others were safe).

Claire's blue eyes caught sight of a door that was up ahead of the trio. "Guys, I can see a way out of this hallway. I think we should take it."

Ando smirked. "You're the leader."

"…Lead on." Nathan encouraged.

* * *

Peter and Sylar were discussing which way they should lead the group to find Claire. Elle, Hiro, Niki and Suresh just followed their leaders in awed silence. The two once mortal enemies had led the group all around the twisted hallways and they still were nowhere near finding Peter's niece. Why Peter didn't just use his powers three out of the four of them didn't know.

Peter abruptly stopped walking, making Sylar run into his hard back. "Why would you do that?" Sylar asked while rubbing his head.

Peter smiled at him. "I think we should go…"

"…Right. You want us to leave our comrades in this disgustingly dirty labyrinth because you're scared of Tracy?"

* * *

Matt turned swiftly to Bennett. "YES! Dude she is one scary bambina. How you're going to get in her pants is beyond me."

The suit clad man gave his shorter friend a glare. "We're not leaving them behind and that's final."

"Fine, but I think we should figure this place out instead of running around looking like…"

* * *

"…Crap! This is the last hallway guys. Who would've thought they'd be another hallway behind the door from the last hallway? Weird." Claire let her gaze take in her surroundings. "Hey, I think there's a door right at the end there. Let's move boys." Ando and Nathan nodded and ran after the short blonde woman.

"She would be an awesome add on to the company huh?" Nathan whispered to Ando.

Ando nodded and grinned "Yeah I agree and not just cos' I think she's…"

* * *

"…Stuck. Now we are stuck in a room with four doors and they are now all locked. Nice one Petrelli."

Peter rounded on Sylar. "Hey, you followed me."

"Yeah, well guess what…"

* * *

"…Bennett, I found a button."

"Well then push it, let's get this thing…"

* * *

"…Free. I'll buy you an ice cream, you don't have to pay a thing. Just, Claire, open the door." Nathan pleaded.

Claire smiled in triumph. "Kay'" She pulled the heavy metal door open…

* * *

Suddenly a group of three came face to face with a group of six. The silence of the room invaded everyone's senses. Then, as if they were given a hint, noise erupted from both groups.

"What are you doing here?" Group of three questioned.

"Us? What about you?" Group of six answered. "Claire why are you with those two?"

"You forgot about me/her again, didn't you?

"…No."

Silence once again claimed the room. A little more awkward then the first one. A tiny clicking sound started to come from the right of the room. The nine people all turned to look at the wall it was coming suspiciously from.

"Do I even want to ask?" A new voice in the room spoke up. Everyone turned away from the mysterious ticking noise and looked at the owner of the voice.

"Oh, Hi Tracy. Did you finish shopping?" Ando asked carefully.

"Shut up idiot…What is that ticking noise?"

Peter shrugged. "Dunno. We were all wondering-"

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Suddenly the right wall flipped and Matt and Bennett crashed into the room. "MATT!"

"What! You told me to push it!" Matt protested to the guy on top of him. He glanced up at the faces watching them in amusement/horror/embarrassment.

"Oh hey, Tracy…Peter…Sylar…Claire – by God you really did get hot…Ando…Nathan…Electric chick …Suresh who totally got all buggy and evil, but I forgive and forget because Claire's hot…Hiro. What up?"

Bennett gasped. "Tracy! You're not shopping! It's, ah, not what it looks like."

Tracy smirked as she bent down near the body pile that was slightly sickly. "Sure it isn't Horn-rimmed…"

* * *

Back on the road, everyone was in their rightful places. Hiro was driving, Elle was navigating, Claire was bored, Niki was sleeping, Suresh was reading, Sylar was watching Peter, The Company rejects went home and Peter…was on a laptop.

Sylar cocked an eyebrow. "What're you doing?"

"Vigorously voting in an online poll for my favourite fictional TV couple and most likely going to get ripped for it, you?" Peter answered without taking his eyes of the screen.

Sylar sucked in a large breath as he took out a small plastic card. "Protecting this card I borrowed off Angela and watching you lose your mind is fun."

"Oh" Peter answered back absent minded. "That's cool."


	10. Maketh The Closure

Hey so this is almost the end. I got other stories that I need to complete and I get the feeling this has run it's course, though there will be an epilogue coming up soon. Thank you to everyone who reviewed or just plain endured reading it. I have loved making it.

* * *

**Chapter 10 – The End – Viva Las Vegas**

"Married!" Sylar yelped. "Who's married!"

"Well, a number of people actually," Hiro shifted his feet uncomfortably. "There is Bennett and Tracy, Niki and Mr Muggles and…You and Claire."

Claire's mouth hung open. "You cannot be serious. Peter put you up to this didn't he? To get back at me and Sylar for our part in Suresh' prank."

"Oh he got back at you alright," Hiro continued. "I just think you underestimated just how much of an evil genius Peter can be. Here, he left this note." Hiro handed them the note. Sylar and Claire snatched it from his sweaty hands.

_Dear Sylar and Claire,_

_Roses are red, violets are blue, you both betrayed me, so I fucking hate you. Did you really think I had forgotten your betrayal? How you joined forces with the one known as Suresh? I think not…I mean Gabriel I can understand, but you Claire, my own niece? For shame, Claire, for shame._

_By now I'm sure you're wetting yourself from both fear and awe of my cunning plan. So I guess you're married. By the way, I've watched the tape five times since last night whilst swirling my whine glass…and I'm going to put it on the internet. Can you find it before I do?_

_Love, Peter._

_P.S – Never, NEVER, mess with me again, or I'll come after you…I'll come after you faster than concord and Daphne love child. I. Will. Mess. You. Up. Big time. _

Claire re-read the note three more times. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLY CHRISTMAS!"

Sylar stared off into nothingness. "How could this have happened?" Sylar demanded.

"He's a psycho," Claire mumbled absently. "My uncle and my hero is a psycho!"

"Hiro? Do you know what happened?"

"Well it all started four days ago…ago…ago…ago…"

"Uh Hiro, what are you doing?" Claire asked.

"Ago…ago-starting a flashback-ago…ago…"

They let him continue for a while before Sylar finally spoke up. "Well he's not helping."

"Adam and Daphne!" Claire yelled. "They were taping everything! They must have the tape!"

Sylar nodded. "Let's go," and with that the two charged from the room, leaving poor Hiro all by himself.

"Ago…ago…anything?" He looked around. "No? Wavy lines? Chime music? A harp perhaps?" When nothing happened he shrugged. "Ok, I get it. It's because I'm Asian isn't it? You're just as racist as Arthur Petrelli!" The small Asian time traveller stomped from the room.

…**Four Days Earlier…**

"Guys…" Elle began, her tone one of shame. "I have some dire news."

"Elle it's four in the morning," Mohinder moaned.

Elle suddenly zapped the electronics in the room, causing all the electrical equipment to suddenly blast on at full volume. "WAKE UP!"

The group jolted awake. "I don't wanna be a spring time dancer!"

The group all looked at Sylar, an eyebrow raised. "You know in his defence, they do have to wear those frilly skirts," Peter defended the serial killer.

"I heard if you say spring time dancer three times in a mirror, they come to your house and kill you," Hiro added. "They trample your face!"

"Elle, what the hell?" Claire asked rubbing her eyes. "Hey where's Niki?"

Niki climbed back onto her bed. "Guess,"

"Listen up!" Elle demanded. "Angela just phoned and she's only going to let us use her credit card for four more days!"

The group gazed blankly at her. "So…" Hiro drawled. "…this road trip will be over in four days?"

Elle sighed. "I'm afraid so."

"You're screwin' with us right?" Sylar quizzed.

"If only I were, Gabe-"

"Don't call me that-"

"But alas, both God and Angela hate us," Elle finished.

"So what you're saying is," Claire began. "That in four days…we can go home?"

Elle nodded sadly, unprepared for the roar of glee from her supposed friends. She watched as her posse all exchanged hugs, all except for Peter.

Now Peter Petrelli was a good man, the best in fact. He was a humanitarian, always putting others before himself and just an all round good guy. In fact in all honesty the empath only had one flaw in his perfect existence.

Peter Petrelli did not like surprises. Good or bad, it made little difference.

Sylar relinquished his hold on Claire to gaze down at the man. "Is he Ok?"

"I think he's trembling," Suresh commented.

"Oh Yeah," Claire began. "Peter hates surprises. You remember when he found out Niki had faked her death?"

*****Begin Flashback*****

Niki releases Claire's hands and smiles at the group that have followed her to Peter's apartment. They were all there. Claire, Sylar, Hiro, Elle, Suresh, Bennett, Nathan, Matt, Daphne, Angela, Ando, Tracy, Micah, Molly just about everyone. She had told them all one by one that she in fact had not died in that explosion in season 2 with an ecstatic Micah at her side. The small boy had not stopped smiling, his grin reaching from ear to ear.

When Peter did not hear them knocking the group decided to enter, opting to surprise the youngest Petrelli brother with their amazing news. They spot him, head phones on as he listens to music on his laptop. Niki smiles warmly at his back before breezing over to him silently and taps him on the shoulder. He turns and freezes as his eyes make contact with hers. The whole group smiles affectionately and Micah giggles innocently as Peter, stunned, removes his head phones.

"Hi Peter," she murmurs softly, almost a whisper.

He stands. Still. Taking in what he is seeing and has only one response.

"Niki what the FUCK?" He pulls away, completely losing his shit. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Peter... don't freak out. It's me. Your one and ONLY blonde friend." She soothes, sweetly, trying to reach for his cheek, to assure him that she is not a dream, but a reality we all have to deal with now.

"No! Dude! You.. were dead! You like fucking blew up into a fucking million pieces. I SAW your body buried."

"Yeah... no. I faked my death and all to get the company off my back.. but, aren't you happy to see me?"

"You WHAT?" Peter screams, completely out of it. "I almost killed the man who set that building on fire over you! And now you tell me you PLANNED to fake your death?"

"Um Peter?" Claire tries to interject, looking awkwardly at a stunned 12 year old Micah. "Maybe you should calm down a little?"

"No Claire! No! This bitch needs to learn now that she can be a real drama whore!"

Micah looks confused up at Claire. "What's a drama whore?"

Claire's eyes bolt open in fear, so she turns to Matt for help. He smiles at her in understanding. "Well Kiddo," He begins whilst squatting down. "Uncle Peter means your mom is a whore to drama, as in she gets sexually excited by dramatic situations."

Micah grins, now understanding. "Wow, thanks officer parkman!"

"Knowledge is power sport."

Niki ignores her son losing his innocence to try and make Peter understand. "Well, if I told you what was happening you just would've tried to protect me!"

"What? If you told me I wouldn't have almost killed a human and exposed my powers at the same time!"

"But, Peter—"

"Get the fuck out of my apartment!" He yells, disgusted. "First you try to kill my brother and now this. Gah. You seriously are fucked up. Fucked. Up."

*****End Flashback*****

"That was when Micah took up smoking and prostitutes," Niki said with a fond smile. "Kids huh?"

Elle decided to disregard the situation. "So me and Angie talked and-"

"Angie?" Suresh asked.

"Yes Angie, we're BFF's now. Anyway we got to talking and decided we would meet her and everyone at the hotel plaza in Viva Las Vegas because Mr B and Tracy are getting married! We leave now!" The electric blonde chirped.

"What!" Niki and Claire both yelled simultaneously.

Hiro held up his hand. "Uh guys? Peter is eating cardboard."

Sylar winced. "Oh I hear that's bad for you."

* * *

**Las Vegas - Hotel Plaza **

"Sylar, for the last time, I don't care," Claire said frustrated.

Sylar sighed. "Look I'm just saying 'Hotel Plaza'? Isn't that WAAAAY cliché?"

"Hey you made it!" Angela greeted from the main reception desk, Arthur Petrelli and Daniel Linderman on either side of her.

"Hi Mom, Dad!" Peter greeted happily before turning to Linderman. "Linder…"

Linderman was eyeing Niki whilst muttering "Boomshakalakalaka boom,"

Peter bounced his eyebrows. "Awkward."

"We've already assigned everyone suits," Arthur Petrelli announced, seemingly not caring whether they were there or not. "Claire, you'll be sharing a room with your-" Cough. "Adopted-" Cough. "Father, Elle and Molly Walker."

"Terrific," Claire mumbled bored.

Elle snatched the key. "This is going to be just like in the chick flicks! But you know, with less subtle lesbianism."

"Boomshakalakalaka boom!"

"Peter, you will be sharing with your brother, officer Parkman and Sylar," Arthur continued.

"That can't go wrong" Suresh murmured.

Peter cheerfully took the key. "Sure thing Dad, anything you say."

"Splendid," Arthur nodded.

"…Anything else Dad?"

"What?"

"Love me."

"Huh?"

"Nothing! So I guess I'll be getting to my room now then," Peter hurried to the elevator with Sylar.

"Niki," Angela spoke. "You'll be sharing with your sister, Daphne and Micah."

Niki smiled. "Great! Listen does this room have any sharp edges, sugary treats, overly active electrical sockets or doors?"

"Of course not dear, but it does have a balcony overlooking a tank filled with sharks, sword fish and Jack the ripper."

Niki's smile fell. "Oh good."

Arthur then glanced at Suresh and Hiro. "You two will be sharing with Ando and Mr Muggles…_down in the basement."_

"What!" Hiro yelled.

Angela turned to her husband. "Arthur, we worked on this remember?"

"Is there a problem?" Suresh enquired

"No no, oh no, no problem, no would…would definitely be my answer. Although the room has already been paid for so if you fine _equal _gentlemen wouldn't mind just settling in for now." Angela smiled. Arthur muttered something under his breath. "Arthur!"

"Boomshakalakalaka Boom!"

* * *

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…I hate you, Peter."

"Shut up, Gabe," Peter responded as he and Sylar walked down the hallway, side by side. "No wonder you changed your name, it's got gay in it."

"Oh and yours is so much better? Pee-ter. As in pee, as in urination. You disgust me."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Man, your parents must have hated you. Oh wait, THEY DID!"

"'Coz that's a secret. They abandoned me."

"Gutted."

"Hey," Sylar protested. "At least my parents are honest about hating me."

Peter frowned. "Yeah I got their last email. What's an ass bandit?"

"Not important."

"And what did you mean honest? My parents tell me they hate me all the time."

Sylar scoffed. "Oh yeah, with words instead of letters written in a puppy's blood."

"Puppies blood? Really?"

"Yeah," Sylar suddenly looked off into the distance sorrowfully. "When I was a child there was…an incident."

"With a puppy?"

"I'm afraid so. I used to enjoy playing with the lawnmower and one day, well, I thought I could combine my love of hair dressing with mowing."

Peter winced. "Ah."

"Yeah…poor Kevin never saw it coming."

The two stopped outside their door and opened it…then froze in their tracks. Matt and Nathan were wrestling like two school boys on the floor.

"Nathan…Matt…Hey," Peter greeted awkwardly.

The two grown men froze. Nathan pushing Matts cheek whilst Matts foot was placed in Nathan's stomach. "Oh, hey guys. What's…what's happening?" Matt's voice was muffled due to Nathans hand.

"We were just," Nathan began to explain. "Deciding which person got the king size bed."

Sylar looked in the room to find four king sized beds. "But there are four. Why would you-"

"Mind your business that's why!"

* * *

Suresh and Hiro opened the door to their dark, dank basement suit. Ando looked up from the soft core porn he was watching with Mr Muggles. "Hey guys! Check out the room blingage! What's up G?"

Some oil dropped down on Suresh' head. Slowly Mohinder wiped the offending substance from his forehead. He turned to a depressed looking Hiro.

"You know what?" The scientist began. "I'm getting pretty fucking annoyed with this holiday."

"As am I Mohinder," Hiro agreed. "As. Am. I."

* * *

Claire and Elle stopped outside their luscious looking room door. Elle beamed as even the light brown wood seemed to sparkle.

"Oooooooooh looky so shiny!" She gasped.

Claire raised an eyebrow. "Shiny? Really?"

"There should be three wise men following this door!"

Just then the door opened and out fell Noah Bennett. He landed on top of Claire, sending them straight to the floor.

"Whoa, that carpet – that – that carpet, it's like, whoa you know?" Bennett stammered.

"Always good to see you Dad," Claire sniffed her father. "Dad, are you drunk?"

"I should say so," Elle added, making a face of disgust. "He reeks of whiskey and old spice."

"No no no, that's my new – my new aftermashave. I call it…_sewage fart_," He looked down at Claire. "Hey Claire-Bear, come for my wedding?"

Claire rolled her eyes. "No I came for the square dancing."

"Oh no!" Bennett bolted up to his feet. "Did Matt get into the storage room again!"

"Easy Mr. B, Matt's been confined to the first floor and above." Elle comforted.

Bennett shrugged. "Whatev'"

"Whatev?" Claire repeated incredulously. "You can't even summon the enthusiasm to say the full whatever?"

"Deffo," Bennett shrugged again.

"This is ridiculous."

"Well anyway," Bennett clapped his hands together. "I'm off to my bachelor party. Tracy and that lot will be up for…um…the girl version of that."

"Hen night?"

"Shut up, Elle, we're not British."

"Right," Elle nodded firmly.

Bennett continued. "Do you see me drinking tea, Elle?"

She looked down at his hands and shook her head. "Nope."

"Then what does that tell you?"

"You're not British?"

"Bingo!" Bennett cheered.

Elle clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh I love these things! What did I win?"

"This coupon!" Bennett handed the excited blonde a ruffled up slip of paper. Elle looked down at it and her smile dropped.

Claire leaned over to read it. "Dad, this just says 'You have hooker breath' with a smiley face on it."

"That's how I roll," And with that he bounded down the hallway and out of sight.

Elle folded up the paper and put it in her pocket. "Wow, he's a mean drunk."

"Elle, you're not going to keep that?"

Elle shrugged. "It was a gift," she whined.

Claire rolled her eyes and pushed open the door. "I thought you were the sensible one on this journey."

"Ah, now, you've confused sensible with bossy," she replied. "Besides compared to most of these idiots I am the sensible one."

"Oh come on, their not that bad."

*****FLASHBACK*****

Hiro and Claire are standing at the bar in a comfortable silence. Claire takes a sip of her wine. Hiro takes a sip of his beer. Silence is golden. A wave of rare peace in the two heroes manic world.

"Claire?"

"Yes Hiro?"

"What do you call a male ladybug?"

*****END FLASHBACK*****

"Ouch," Elle winced.

Claire pursed her lips. "Yeah. Anyway I'm sure they'll be on their best…" she trailed off when she spotted Molly Walker swaying unsteadily on the couch, a half empty bottle of whiskey in her hands.

"My bitches!" The little girl greeted.

Elle's jaw hit the ground. "Oh my God."

Molly laughed. "Hey, want me to find Jesus?"

**

* * *

**

**Later in the Bar…**

"Ok! Everyone!" Angela called out to the crowd. "I would like to make a toast to the happy couple!" At their blank faces she rolled her eyes. "Bennett and Tracy?" Nothing. "The guy with the glasses and Niki's twin sister?"

"Oh," Was the collective response.

Angela sighed. "Jesus Christ."

"He's in California right now so he can't hear you," Molly's voice shouted out.

"I hate this place," Angela whispered before shaking her head. "Anyway, let's have a good night everyone and please don't try to drink too much. We wouldn't want any nasty surprises in the morning. Though that would be both comicly hilarious and mildly entertaining. To Noah and Tracy!"

Everyone clanged their glasses and took a swig of their drink…all except for Peter. The youngest Petrelli brother gazed menacingly from across the bar, a sinister smirk making an appearance as he studied his prey. Claire and Sylar were talking, but if this plan was going to work than he would need one more thing. His eyes darted to the left to spot the Haitian and his smirk maliciously turned into a grin. Good. Phase one was already complete. Unluckily for them Agent Petrelli always executes his plans of domination and humiliation. Oh yes, for it was time.

Peter Petrelli was going prank Claire Bennett and Gabriel Gray and it was going to off like a house on fire. Or so help him God…

For too long he had pretended to have forgotten their betrayal. For too long his hatred had been burning in the very recesses of his gut. He still awoke sometimes, thinking that maybe he was still floating naked in that dirty yet surprisingly warm lake…being laughed at. He growled.

Operation Marriage was a go.

"Time for phase two," he hissed and cut through the crowd. He needed to get Claire to drink, and there was only one way he could see that happening. "Hey Sylar! Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure."

"Cool. Hey Hiro? Could you keep Claire company for a sec?" Peter slyly put in.

Claire's eyes bolted open in fear. "No wait Peter-!" But he was gone. She firmly closed her eyes and turned to face a smiling Hiro.

"So, Claire?"

The ex-cheerleader sighed. "Yes Hiro?"

"Well I was wondering, since you Americans throw rice at your weddings, can the Asian communities start throwing hamburgers at ours?"

She firmly closed her eyes. "Oh God…"

"Hey…hey Claire?"

"What Hiro?"

"What do they call a French kiss in France?"

"I don't know, Hiro."

"…"

"…"

"…Hey Claire?"

She grit her teeth. "Yes?

"Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?" When she didn't reply he merely continued. "What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? Does killing time damage eternity? Do vampires get AIDS? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do witches run spell checkers? How do I set my laser printer on stun?" He took a breath, missing Claire beginning to shake. "Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out? Sick really…"

"Hiro…please…I really don't want to start drinking tonight," She begged, on the verge of breaking down in tears.

"Right," He smiled and nodded at her. "Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?"

"Alright! That's it!" She turned to the bar man. "Get me ten shots of Jack Daniels and leave the bottle!"

Peter caught a glimpse of Claire downing shot after shot. He smirked with pride. His genius was beginning to become a curse. "Peter," Sylar started concerned. "Why did you call me over here to talk about all the different varieties of sandals?"

Peter blinked. "I thought you'd be interested."

"…Why?"

Peter swallowed. "What now?"

"Why would I be interested in sandals?" Sylar asked with a frown. "Out of all the people here, surely I'm the person you would least suspect to enjoy the cultural significance of sandals."

"Who cares – Hey, can you go and help Claire with those drinks? I don't want her to drink all of them."

Sylar just bounced his eyebrows. "Right, because you're a normal person," and with that he was gone, leaving Peter alone with his dastardly thoughts. The shit was about to hit the fan, and Peter was ready to shower in its glory. He nodded to the Haitian, who silently nodded back and set off on his mission. After all, Peter couldn't have both Claire and Sylar regenerating from the alcohols effects, now could he? He smirked and went to talk to Daphne, walking passed Suresh, Nathan and Matt sitting at the bar drinking in silence.

"So…" Matt started. "Shall we order the prostitutes now or later?"

"I vote now," Nathan added.

"Agreed," Suresh downed his pint. "Let's go talk to Micah. He's got connections."

"Where is he?" Matt asked a little over eager.

"I don't know," Nathan answered, looking around and spotting Niki holding Mr Muggles whilst talking to her sister. "Let's go ask his mother. Come on."

"Nik, I'm really trusting you with our wittle friend here," Tracy lectured, speaking in a baby voice.

Niki rolled her eyes. "Trace I have a son, I think I can manage a dog for a night."

"Right," Tracy smiled. "How was rehab for little Micah?"

"Ah, I see your point."

"Speaking of which, Nik, where is Micah?" Suresh asked, arriving with Matt and Nathan.

* * *

**Present Day…**

Claire and Sylar burst into Tracy, Niki, Daphne and Micah's room charged up like a supernova. Micah jumped up from the floor, knocking over the empty bottle of whiskey that stood between him and an unconscious Molly Walker. Daphne looked up from the note she was reading with an eyebrow raised.

"Where is it speedie!" Sylar yelled, left eye twitching.

Daphne gulped. "Uh oh. Sylar did you babysit again? Look I promise you we don't have any milk!"

"He means the video tape," Claire tried to sound reasonable, really she did, but she was losing herself to the rage. "The video tape of last night."

"Oh," Daphne put down the slip of paper in her hand to fiddle through her bag. "I've still got it somewhere."

Both Sylar and Claire breathed a heavy sigh of relief and embraced each other. Suddenly though an awkward tension set in and the two slowly pulled apart, not able to resist looking into the other's eyes. It was like a string of electricity had ignited between them, connecting her blue orbs to his dark brown unreadable eyes. For a second they thought maybe Elle had shown up, but soon realised it wasn't the impulsive blonde that had caused this connection. Uncomfortably they dropped their gaze to anything other than the other, but unfortunately they landed on Niki in her bed…with Mr Muggles happily licking her face.

"Oh baby, you treat me so good," Niki moaned in pleasure, smiling. Without looking she tenderly pecked Mr Muggles wet nose with her soft lips.

Sylar dry heaved. "Oh God."

"Hiro wasn't lying!" Claire finished the thought whilst Sylar almost bolted for the toilet. "Niki and Mr Muggles got married!"

"Isn't that illegal? I mean a human woman marrying a dog? Come on!"

Thankfully Daphne appeared in front of them, holding the blessed video tape. "Here. I haven't watched it yet, I don't think anyone has either."

Claire sighed. "Thank you Jesus."

"Well, only Peter anyway," Daphne finished. A devastating silence followed her words, both Sylar and Claire gaping at her. "Here, he left this note for you. It's a bit…texas chainsaw-y." She handed them the note, and for the second time they greedily took in the scribbled words.

_Dear all,_

_Did you really think I would let you get away with it? Did you learn nothing from Mohinder and his epic journey to find the missing epilogue? Your humiliation has been on the internet since this morning…and I may have 'accidently' emailed the video to a very short tempered Noah Bennett._

_Oopsie._

_Consider us even if you dare, _

_For in my vengeance you're laid bare, _

_Now if I were you I'd take care,_

_And prepare yourself for your righteous scare._

_(Bennett's gonna rape your soul Sylar)_

_Happy days,_

_Love Peter._

As if on cue, a horrible death-like cue, the door to the room crashed open to reveal a worryingly calm Noah Bennett. All of the occupants of the room gulped simultaneously.

"Oh, hey there, Daddy," Claire smiled a big fat fake one. "Shouldn't you be getting ready with the wedding and the dressing and…"

"And the manly cold feet!" Daphne chimed in. The two blondes nodded enthusiastically.

Bennett strode into the room. "I received an interesting email today, from a …"

"Lame," Daphne sung.

"You know I received an email from him – her – them." Claire was quick to add. "Sounds like a trouble maker to me."

Sylar bounced his eyebrows. "I couldn't agree more."

"The email had a recorded link in it." Bennett continued. "Showing, well, something that enraged me more than I could explain."

"Ok Dad, remember the breathing thing?" Claire tried. "One Mississippi, two Mississippi-"

"And it had a note on at the end which truly confused me, which I was to give to you after watching."

Sylar sighed. "Damn it! Another note? What is it with this guy?"

Claire reached out and grabbed the folded paper, gulping as she handed it to Sylar. "Look, Dad, both me and Sylar got really drunk ok? The Haitian being there must have stopped us from regenerating. So please, remember that we weren't in our right minds when we got married. We couldn't even remember why we woke up together!"

"That's right," Sylar spoke up. "If you want to blame anyone then blame Peter. He set this whole thing up in the first place." Both Sylar and Claire released a heavy sigh. Whatever the ex-company man wanted to do to them now, at least they were ready.

Bennett took three dangerous steps forward toward Sylar. "You married my little girl?"

Sylar's calm face fell. "What?"

"You married _my _daughter?"

Claire's eyes darted confused. "Wait, you already knew didn't you? Peter told you in the email?"

"Peter emailed me a porno of Harry Potter," Bennett seethed, eyes wild. "I had to watch Dumbledore teach Harry a spell to stop anal leakage the naughty way."

"Ew," Daphne scrunched up her face.

"But…but the note-" Claire stammered.

"Uh, Claire," Sylar's monotone voice drawled from behind her. She turned around to face him, which was when he displayed the note to her.

_HA!_

Claire gawked at the simple two letters, written in big black bold capital letters in the middle of the piece of A4. "Oh my God Peter is an evil genius."

Daphne raised an eyebrow. "Is it wrong to suddenly find him attractive? It's wrong isn't it?"

"Ah!" All eyes turned to a screaming Niki. "Why am I in bed with Mr Muggles!"

"Words cannot express how much I hate all Petrelli's," Sylar stated genuinely, before casting worried eyes up at a smirking Bennett. He sighed, resigning to his fate. "Well…shit."

* * *

Mohinder slowly opened his eyes to the sound of violent shrills being carried on the wind. His eyebrows furrowed. How did he end up on the balcony with Matt and Nathan? Seeing the other two men were still drooling in their sleep, he stood and carefully walked to the balcony railings.

Another shrill.

Mohinder snapped his attention five floors down to see Bennett and the Haitian, standing over a broken looking Sylar. He frowned once more. Perhaps his hangover was getting in the way of his rational mind.

"Bennett?" Suresh called down.

Bennett and the Haitian both looked up. "Good Morning, Suresh!" Bennett called up.

"What's going on?"

"Sylar got drunk and married Claire last night, defiled her and then forgot about it – so I threw him from the fourth floor window and I'm having the Haitian dilute his regenerative powers so he heals really slowly, as well as being in excruciating pain."

"Oh," was all the scientist could say. "Peter?"

Bennett nodded. "Peter."

"Got it," Suresh nodded. "Hey do you know what their serving for breakfast?"

"Full English I believe!"

"Wow, really? Is it included with the room or do you have to pay?"

"Uh-" Bennett began. Sylar screamed, but was interrupted by Bennetts boot slamming into his ribs. Noah sighed before looking back up. "I think it's included with the room! But you have to bring your room key as evidence!"

"Oh ok! Thanks!"

"You're welcome!"

Elle's head suddenly popped over the six floor balcony directly above Mohinder. "Would you guys shut up! Some of us have hangovers!"

"Sorry!" Bennett and Suresh apologized simultaneously. Sylar held his hand up weakly to show his own remorse, but Bennett cracked him in the ribs again with his boot.

Elle bit her lip. "Peter?"

Suresh and Bennett nodded. "Peter."

"Got it," Elle nodded in understanding. "Looks like it's going to be a nice day!"

"Beautiful!" Suresh agreed.

"I heard it might rain later on!" Bennett called up.

"Typical!" Elle whined. "Why do they even have the forecast if it's just wrong all the time?"

"It's the only job where you can be wrong half the time and still get paid!" Suresh added.

"Ridiculous," Bennett agreed.

Mohinder frowned. "Wait Elle! Isn't that Peter's room?"

Elle nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah we totally did it last night. Haven't seen him all morning though," she glanced at Sylar almost dead on the floor. "Guess he's been busy!"

"How lovely!" Bennett called up.

**(Silence)**

"Well, I wouldn't want to miss breakfast!" Suresh yelled.

"Oh yeah! I might join you!" Elle commented. "Later Mr. B, Claude or whatever your name is Haitian!"

"Bye Elle – Hey! Viewing's at 3!"

"See you then!" Elle and Suresh said and disappeared at the same time.

Bennett smiled and shook his head playfully. "Those kids," he laughed, proceeding to viciously stomp on Sylar's back when the broken man tried to rise again. "Stay Down Gabriel! Punk ass…"

* * *

So what did you think. There will be a short epilogue to finish it off, including video footage of the Bachelor and Bachelorette party…and the unfortunate moment when they collided.

Please review telling me what you think. Only one more chapter left people!


	11. Epilogue

Ok so this is it. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has taken an interest in this story, either by reading or reviewing, and to say I have thoroughly enjoyed writing it. Ok so thank you and here we go.

**Disclaimer: I don't own heroes for the hundredth time. Jesus Christ...**

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Epilogue**

It was finally here. This was the last time they would all be together for a long, long time. When they next saw each other could be months away, they might occasionally bump into one or two, or they might be enemies. With them it was always hard to tell.

It had been an eventful morning to say the least. Sure no one died but it was still exciting. Three odd duos had gotten married, Peter and Elle had done the bad stuff, two children had woken up drunk on the floor, Suresh, Nathan and Parkman had opened their eyes and realized they were on a balcony…and Adam Monroe and Daphne Millbrook had caught all the explanations on tape. Needless to say Hiro Nakamura was probably the only one who had nothing to fear from watching the dreaded tape, or so he thought.

Three couches and multiple chairs were all angled around the 42 inch television, filled with nervous bottoms and shivering bodies. The seating went as followed, from left to right. Niki; Micah; Molly; Daphne; Adam; Hiro; Ando; Arthur; Angela; Sylar; Claire; Peter; Elle; Noah; Tracy and Linderman. Noah got up, tape clenched in his hand. Everyone took a deep breath as he slid it into the player.

"This is gonna suck ass," Claire piped up, lightly surprising everyone there.

Sylar pouted. "You suck ass."

"Hey," Peter smirked. "Is that any way to treat your wife?"

"Screw you Petrelli."

"I did," Elle added on like the sly fox she is.

Claire shuddered. "Ew."

"Hey Bennett? What's the hold up?" Niki called.

"I'm trying to tune it in ok?"

Niki sighed. "Oh great."

"If you're so impatient why don't you try and tune it in?" Bennett complained.

"Oh no," Niki shook her head. "I don't go near any electronical stuff anymore. Suresh, do you remember when you got me that DS?"

Suresh winced. "Yeah," he turned to the rest of them. "The results were similar to if a lion had fought the terminator in a blood bank and then decided to add Freddy Krueger halfway through."

"How?" Sylar asked.

"I don't know," Suresh looked thoughtful. "But at one point I thought I saw a leprechaun chuckling in the corner."

Sylar raised a brow. "That's…odd?"

"Tell me about it, I mean, he was wearing blue!" Suresh exclaimed, bug eyed.

"That was what you found strange?" Sylar asked disbelievingly. "Blood, guts, vomit and magical imaginary beings and you think the blue was odd?"

"Couldn't you have just said it was messy?" Angela complained.

"No," Hiro demanded. "A hero must always know the facts."

"You're kind of intense."

Hiro kept a blank face. "And you're kind of a bitch."

"Yes! I've got it!" Bennett leapt in his joy before plonking himself down next to Tracy. "We've combined both Adam and Daphne's recorded data and Micah merged them into one VHS."

"VHS?" Nathan laughed. "Who the hell uses VHS anymore?"

"Mind your own business that's who!"

"For God's sake Dad just press play," Claire moaned.

Elle nodded. "Yeah, let's get this rodeo clown on the road."

"That doesn't make any sense," Peter frowned.

"Your face doesn't make any sense."

Bennett aimed the remote at the VHS player with a happy smile on his face. "And play,"

_"Ok! Everyone!" Angela called out to the crowd. "I would like to make a toast to the happy couple!" At their blank faces she rolled her eyes. "Bennett and Tracy?" Nothing. "The guy with the glasses and Niki's twin sister?"_

_"Oh," Was the collective response._

_Angela sighed. "Jesus Christ."_

_"He's in California right now so he can't hear you," Molly's voice shouted out._

_"I hate this place," Angela whispered before shaking her head. "Anyway, let's have a good night everyone and please don't try to drink too much. We wouldn't want any nasty surprises in the morning. Though that would be both comicly hilarious and mildly entertaining. To Noah and Tracy!"_

"Aw, thank you Mrs Petrelli," Tracy gave the older woman a hug.

"You're welcome dear."

"Wow look at Claire go!" Matt exclaimed as he pointed at Claire downing shot after shot with Sylar. "I've seen less thirsty African children."

_Peter appeared in front of the camera. "Daphne, would you mind paying particular attention to Sylar and Claire tonight?" The camera zoomed in on Sylar and Claire, just glimpsing the Haitian trying to hide behind Molly Walker. _

"_Why?" Daphne's voice could be heard off screen._

_Peter shrugged. "Call it a hunch, like from my old detective days."_

"_Peter you never were a detective."_

"_In here I was," he pointed to his head. "Now tomorrow morning they are going to come looking for you and ask for the video tape of tonight. When you give it to them, give them this note."_

"You son of a bitch," Sylar whispered to a smirking Peter.

"Amen," Hiro piped up.

_The camera moved up and down, indicating Daphne had shrugged. "Whatev."_

"_Ok good, now I should – wait what?"_

"_I said whatev."_

"_Whatev?" Peter asked, confused. "What? You can't even be bothered to add the 'er' at the end? What are you twelve?"_

"_Screw you Petrelli."_

"_I think I just might," Elle appeared behind Peter at the front of a conga line. Micah held onto her, and Linderman behind him. Peter frowned when he saw the twelve year old glued to Elle's swinging rear._

"_Dude!"_

"_What?" Micah snapped at him. "She your woman?"_

_Peter shook his head and walked past Nathan, Suresh and Matt. He nodded his head at his brother. "Nathan."_

_Nathan nodded back. "Broseph."_

_Matt pulled Micah from the conga line. "Micah, we need to get some hookers down here. Now."_

"_And preferably some fireworks," Suresh added._

"Hookers and fireworks?" Claire asked the three men.

Matt shrugged. "We had some strange ideas," He looked mournfully up at the sky. "But they were magnificent and majestic, showering glory in a beautiful haze of golden light. Love in physical form, true splender glowing like a thousand suns and spreading warmth through the hearts of the pure."

"Wow Matt," Claire whispered. "That was…beautiful."

"_Sure thing," Micah whipped out a cell phone on the screen. "What for?"_

_Nathan smiled. "We wanna make a hooker rainbow."_

"_And make it rain syphilis down on our enemies," Matt added._

"Oh my God!" Claire gasped, throwing revolted looks between the three men.

Niki joined her blonde friend. "How could you?"

Suresh shrugged. "We don't have ALL the answers Niki, and besides you literally screwed the pooch yourself so cast those hateful, hateful eyes into a mirror."

"Puppy whore," Nathan mumbled to himself.

Angela jolted. "Nathan!"

"What?" The senator sulked. "Is there anyone here who hasn't slept with her at some point?"

Angela awkwardly averted her gaze, as did everyone there including Mr Muggles. Claire looked around the room. "Am I the only one?"

"Please Claire," Adam arrogantly answered. "I think I can speak for the entire male population of earth that in our minds, you two get it on at least daily. Guys?" A chorus of male agreement echoed throughout the room. Adam nodded. "Bosh"

"See what I'm talking about?" Nathan piped up. "Bitch got no class."

"At least she didn't want to send some poor women into the sky and make a rainbow out of them!" Claire defended, aghast.

"No no Claire," Matt laughed. "We wanted to make rainbows out of hookers, not people."

"Matt I had no idea you were this prejudice," Ando chastised.

Matt shook his head. "Oh, don't worry fellas, I'm ok with the whole Asian persuasion thing. It's just whores and midgets that make me want to vomit down their throats."

"Besides at least he didn't screw and marry Sylar," Suresh threw on as the tape showed the group getting steadily more drunk. Claire bounced her eyebrows. He had a point.

"Not yet…" Sylar trailed off.

"Wh-what?" Matt stammered.

"Nothing."

"No what…what does that mean?"

Sylar shrugged. "Well, look, you do give off that kind of vibe. Plus your always so worried about your hair and stuff."

"I like to look good!"

_The tape went on, following random conga lines and pushing through the crowd. It caught a glimpse of Ando climbing the walls like a monkey until it came across Bennett and Tracy making out. They pulled away, making a sound that reminded them all of a plunger being ripped from a toilet. _

"_You know what?" Noah slurred. "You know what? We should just get married now and then bang on someones unconscious back!"_

_Tracy swayed. "That…is…so…cool," _

"_Yeah, yeah, hey everyone!" All the noise stopped, except for the sound of Ando falling from the ceiling with a yelp and thud. Noah stared at him before continuing. "Me and Tracy have decided to get married right now!" The group all cheered, Sylar whirled his finger, Claire took her shirt off and began spinning it around above her head like a lasso._

"Woah!" Ando and Hiro exclaimed in unison.

"Check out little Claire's two BIG secrets!" Matt yelled. Claire looked mortified.

Arthur Petrelli nodded slowly. "Nice," he whispered, drawing out the c sound.

"Arthur!" Angela now looked equally mortified. "Claire is your granddaughter!"

"So what I'm gay now?" Arthur protested. "Screw that. I ain't no homo."

"I'm just gonna go ahead and fast forward this," Noah statd, hitting fast forward and subsequently watching his daughter do what he believed to be a very sensual version of the time warp.

Claire smiled over at her father. "Thanks Daddy-"

"Please be quiet Claire-bear."

"Ok."

Finally, and with a not so subtle sigh of disappointment from around the room, Claire finished her topless sexy dance. Noah pressed play when he saw them all in a cheap church.

"_Do you, Noah Francis Geraldine Bennett," The preacher began, ignoring the snickering from the crowd at the unfortunate name. Noah wiped away a tear. Oh the horrors that name had brought him. "Take Tracy HYDRASLUT Strauss to be you awfully wedded wife?"_

"_Um…sorry father but don't you mean __**lawfully **__wedded wife?" Noah whispered._

"_No," The priest answered bluntly. "No I don't."_

"_Oh," Noah recoiled a little._

_The priest sighed, clearly bored. "Anyways do ya or don't ya because I gotta get up early tomorrow for the annual priest alter boy fishing trip, and it's not just the fish I wanna mount if you catch my drift?"_

"_I truly hope I don't," Noah responded._ _"But I do,"_

"_I do too," Tracy said with a smile._

"_Thrilling ok, so if anyone has any objections or whatever then speak now and, well, is there a single person who gives a shit basically?" The priest asked with a yawn._

_Hiro stood up. "I have something to say." All eyes turned to Hiro "I think Ando has genital herpes."_

"_Hiro!" Ando was suddenly on his feet next to his friend._

"_It needed to be said Ando," Hiro replied._

"_At a wedding!"_

"_Yes, because there is more."_

"_Uh Hiro?" Niki tried to intervene. "Does this really have to be said now-?"_

"_Nik shut the hell up I wanna hear this!" Peter yelled from the back. "Oh and by the way, Noah, the cheap seats? Really? I saved your daughters' life you ass!"_

"_God Peter you're so heroic," Elle purred, seductively crossing her legs and leaning into the Empath._

"_Hey!" Claire stood up, full of purpose and happenstance…and also three litres of vodka. "Back off tramp! My Peter is too good for you!"_

"_Oh boy," Tracy mumbled._

_Elle flew to her feet. "Excuse me?"_

"_Listen," Claire swayed. "Peter is mine. Perhaps not romantically but he LOVES me, plus I totally have a crush on him."_

Silence filled the room as the group just stared at the Claire on the screen, before all slowly turning varying expressions on to the one sitting next to them. Claire was wide eyed and unable to move, but luckily for her Sylar's laughter rung out.

"Oh sister it is not your night," the serial killer chuckled.

Claire threw a glance over to a petrified Peter and laughed. "It's not true," she defended nervously. "I was just jealous that you would show anyone else attention other than me, it doesn't mean I have a crush on you. I'm a woman, Peter. We're complicated."

"You're a freak," Sylar snorted, receiving a punch in the arm for his clever use of words.

Peter nodded. "Ok," he said with a smile. "Ok, let's just keep watching the tape." They all settled back in.

"Please I've seen the show, there is no way she doesn't want to bang him on some sick level," Elle whispered…right in Peter's ear.

"Elle, I'm right here."

_Back on the screen all was quiet at Claire's revelation, and then just like that Suresh, Nathan and Matt came bursting through the chapel doors at full speed, a look of terror on all their faces._

"_EVERYBODY RUN!" Suresh screamed._

_Niki stood in front of them. A bold move given her accident record. "Suresh what happened?"_

"_The hookers got the fireworks Niki!" Suresh screamed in her face before dramatically shaking her shoulders. "THE HOOKERS GOT THE FIREWORKS!" _

"_Oh God, here they come!" Matt gasped as five women rounded the corner, each carrying a large rocket. "Jesus, I'm both turned on and terribly afraid."_

_Nathan had the misfortune of looking down first, and recoiled from horror. "Christ Parkman you're pitching a whole campsite down there!"_

"_Yeah," The priest drew everyones attention. "If we could have less of the prostitutes, violence, incest, STD's, using the lords name in vain and discussion of sexual organs in Gods house that would be great. Now guys, if you and four of those women would leave I would be very appreciative."_

_They all looked round to see the five women reading the fireworks instruction. "Oh no, they can read our language! Run!" The three men ran from the chapel with the five hookers chasing angrily after them. _

"_I think it was a mistake inviting them," Noah mumbled, head in his hands before noticing Tracy scratching a certain area. "What's that?"_

"_Oh nothing, just a small case of genital…" she looked up at Noah afraid. "…herpes. Whoops." _

"_You slept with Ando!" Noah called. _

"_As did several animals at the zoo who had to be put down," Hiro stated, shaking his head disapprovingly at his friend. "What did those giraffe do to you?"_

"_HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Micah sanders and Molly walked in, each with half empty bottles in their hands. "Oh is this the wedding. Nice to know we were invited."_

"_Come on," Molly hiccupped. "I think Daphne has some secret liquor in her room – hey!" Molly fell over as Ando shot past them, Noah hot on his heels. "How rude."_

"_Ando, do not worry, I will save – oooh are those lunchables? I LOVE lunchables," Hiro dove into the crappy buffet table._

"_Well since no one else is getting married," Sylar's sly voice chimed._

"_Excuse me," Niki walked out holding Tracy and Noahs ring…and Mr muggles._

_Claire downed the rest of her bottle. "Loving the ideas Gabe," and the last thing the group saw as the camera went black was Claire straddling the serial killer and furiously making out with him. _

They sat in silence for a while, awed by the sheer magnitude of crazy they had just witnessed. So, to sum up: Claire was both in love with her uncle whilst having married and had sex with Sylar; Peter was an evil genius; Ando was a sexual deviant; Hiro wanted to be the lunchable king; Tracy was a whore; Niki screwed the pooch; Suresh, Matt and Nathan were being chased with rockets; Micah and Molly were drunk; Arthur, Angela and Linderman had mysteriously disappeared together and they had scarred an ethically challenged priest for life.

"So," Peter awkwardly brought up. "Shall we never mention this again and burn the tape now?"

"Yep," Claire chirped.

Suresh agreed. "I'm down with that."

"I don't see a tape," Niki pretended to look around.

Hiro hung his head. "I have shamed myself."

"Weather's good today," Sylar sad.

"I don't even remember how we got here," Elle laughed uncomfortably.

Peter, Claire, Sylar, Elle, Hiro, Suresh and Niki waved off the last off their friends from their van and turned to each other with warm smiles. "I guess this is it," Suresh said, strangely feeling a little bit sad.

"Well it has been awful," Sylar brought up, hands in pockets.

"Yep," Claire agreed. "We almost killed a nurse."

"I almost died," Niki added.

"I got possessed by an evil spirit," Elle pursed her lips.

"We got thrown in prison," Hiro said.

Suresh shrugged "I nearly suffocated from Hiro's fart."

"I woke up naked in a lake surrounded by over a dozen families," Peter nodded.

"I lost Kevin the Zombie," Sylar pouted.

"We destroyed Tracy and My Dad's wedding," Claire remembered.

"Without forgetting how many people we hurt along the way," Elle made a face of disgust.

"Plus we all became exotic dancers in a brothel…" Niki slid on. Silence over took the group as they all looked everywhere but at each other. Finally Peter looked up at the group.

"So, anyone want to ride home together?"

"Absolutely," they all agreed at the same time and bundled ungraciously into the must crap box that had come to feel like home.

"Hey can we stop off at a fair on the way home?" Hiro asked.

"NO!" Suresh yelled, and with that they road off into the sunset.

"On the road again...Just can't wait to get on the road again..."

"Shut the hell up Petrelli!"

"Easy now Sylar" Suresh soothed, pretending to fire a pistol at him like a cowboy.

"Dammit Mohinder! What did I say about acting like that!"

* * *

So as always I would love to know what you thought of all of it. Please you don't have to just focus on this chapter, bring up anything throughout the story that you would like to comment on. Thanks again, and goodbye.


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